Tiara Lestari's Personal Journal

I'm back!

2010-02-07T08:10:00.000-08:00

Hello there everyone!

Wow.. I miss this blog! Sudah hampir 3 tahun saya nggak nulis. 3 tahun! That’s a long time.

Well, time does fly when you do something you love.

Selama lebih dari 2 tahun saya benar benar fokus ke keluarga saya, terutama my baby girl who is not a baby anymore; Princess Rania. Gak kerasa loh, bulan Juli nanti umurnya 3 tahun.

Selama hampir 3 tahun inilah saya benar benar merasakan menjadi seorang ibu.

My Princess Rania has really made me a better person that I never thought I could. She is my saviour, my little angel. Sungguh pengalaman yang tidak ternilai harganya.

And I Enjoyed every single second of it. I did say I wanted to be a mother, and I am now. I couldn't be anymore happier and proud. (Rania when you are old enough to read this.. it is true; I am very very proud of you baby girl:).

Kamu kamu mungkin ingat saya pernah bilang, kalau saya akan kembali menjalani karir, saya akan mulai dari nol lagi.

And that's what I am doing. .

Today, I am back. I am back better. I am back with a new commitment; to be the best I can be. And the best -this time- is to be balance. To be a good mom, a good wife, and –if you allow me- to be back in your lives as an entertainer.

Dulu waktu di Singapura, karir adalah segalanya buat saya. Now my family is everything. Everything else is an additional blessing -including- whatever career I may or may not have in the future.

It starts today. Monday, February 8^th 2010. TransTV, jam 6 sore.

See you all there ya

Tiara –I’m back- Lestari

PS: Saya mau ngucapin terima kasih ke kamu2 yang masih setia nulis email dan ngasih komen, walaupun saya nggak pernah bales. Thank you for being there for me all this time. Sorry banget yah saya nggak pernah bales :(

Inisiasi menyusu dini- save one million babies

2007-08-06T07:00:00.000-07:00

"Dengan melakukan inisiasi menyusu dini, satu dari empat kematian bayi dibawah umur 28 hari dapat dihindarkan. Jika semuanya melakukannya, satu juta kematian bayi bisa terhindarkan," Dr. Utami Roesli

Mungkin kamu-kamu udah banyak yang tau bahwa 15 hari yang lalu, saya sudah melahirkan Princess Rania :) My baby girl. She is the most incredible gift I have ever received in my life. What a blessing. Everyday, for the past 15 days, I feel blessed as a woman and as a person.

Rania seharusnya lahir tanggal 10 July. Tapi walaupun posisinya sudah benar, dia nggak mau keluar. Mungkin keenakan di dalam kali ya? hehehe. Anyway, saya dan suami akhirnya setuju untuk memberikan waktu untuk Rania keluar sendiri sampai tgl 19 July. Apapun yang terjadi, semua pihak sepakat bahwa, kalau tgl 19 belum keluar juga, ya tgl 20 Rania harus keluar dg cara Caesar. Dan itulah yang terjadi.

Bayangin deh, pada saat itu Rania sedang enak2 di dalam perut saya, remang2 sambil di peluk plasenta, berenang di air ketuban dangan detuk jantung saya yang seperti musik.. tiba2 dia ditarik secara paksa ke dunia yang terang, berisik dengan orang2 aneh berkedok. Bisa dibayangin traumanya dia kan?

Lalu, si Rania langsung ditaruh di dada saya, bapanya mengumandangkan Adzan diposisi itu dan Rania didiamkan begitu saja...

Rania dibiarkan untuk mencari sumber kehidupannya sendiri tanpa dibantu. Saya hanya boleh membelai dan berbicara kepadanya sambil berdoa agar perjuangan beratnya berhasil. Dia menangis, berteriak2 seperti minta tolong, dan saya tetap tidak boleh membantunya. Aduh.. sebagai ibu, rasanya berat deh mendengarkan anak kita merintih seperti itu dan kita tidak bisa berbuat apa2.

Karena posisi meja operasi dimana perut saya masih dijahit oleh dokter, Rania nggak punya banyak ruang untuk gerak di dada saya. Jadi beberapa kali kepalanya terbentur dagu saya dalam usahanya mencari puting susu ibunya. Pada saat2 seperti itu, eyangnya Rania, Dr. Utami Roesli, mendorong Rania kembali kedaerah dada saya. Dan biasanya setiap kali itu dilakukan, dia berteriak makin keras.

Sambil menangis dan berteriak2, sampai kadang2 terlihat kelelahan, kepala Rania aktif naik turun seperti mencari-cari puting susu ibunya. Tangan dan kakinya aktif mendorong2 dirinya sendiri supaya mendekat ke puting susu ibunya. Kadang-kadang saya cukup bingung melihat bagaimana aktifnya bayi yang berumur satu jam ini mencari ASI ibunya sendiri. Karena sebagai orang awam, saya selalu mendengar bahwa bayi seumur ini nggak bisa ngapa2in. Apalagi mencari puting susu ibunya sendiri!

Ternyata kepercayaan itu salah. Rania berhasil. Perjuangan Rania berlangsung selama 1 jam 20 menit. Tanpa dibantu oleh siapapun, Rania berhasil menemukan puting susu ibunya dan mulai menyusu dengan sendirinya. Saking lelahnya, kadang2 Rania tertidur dalam posisi itu. Namun, setiap bangun, mulutnya langsung aktif menyedot ASI saya. Kita membiarkan Rania minum sepuasnya sampai dia selesai sendiri. Lalu, tanpa pernah terlepas dari dada saya, Rania dan saya dipindahkan dari kamar operasi bersamaan dengan saya. Me, skin to skin with my baby girl.

Kami berdua telah berhasil melakukan yang biasa disebut sebagai inisiasi menyusu dini atau early initiation.

Temen2 yang mau melahirkan, atau kamu2 yang punya teman yang mau melahirkan, sebarkan deh berita ini. Faktanya, kalau semua melakukan inisiasi menyusu dini ini, satu juta bayi akan terselamatkan. Ternyata bayi umur satu jam sudah memiliki survival instinct. Nggak ada bedanya sama kucing atau marmot.. kitapun sudah diberikan kemampuan mencari sumber kehidupan. Kan kucing atau marmot lahir nggak pake bidan.

Ternyata dg melakukan inisiasi menyusu dini ini, Rania dengan mudah dapat melakukan proses ASI ekslusif selama 15 hari ini. Problem saya malah terbalik, ASI saya kebanyakan. Alhamdulilah, proses ini kami lakukan bersama sehingga Rania sekarang sangat mudah meneruskan proses menyusui.

Saya lebih bersukur lagi mengingat bahwa proses kelahiran yang tidak normal, seperti Cesar atau Induksi hanya memiliki tingkat kesuksesan melakukan inisiasi menyusu dini sebesar 50 persen. Jadi saya benar2 bersyukur.

Ibu Utami selalu bilang sama saya bahwa anak kita adalah hak kita. Hak kita untuk meminta kepada tenaga medis untuk melakukan proses ini. Kalau mereka ingin lebih tahu proses ini, mereka bisa baca hasil penelitiannya medisnya disini. Proses ini memang baru ditemukan tahun lalu, tapi tidak terlambat untuk kita-kita kan?

Kalau kamu ingin tahu prosesnya secara step by step, ibu Utami memberikan list dibawah ini:

Anjurkan suami atau keluarga mendampingi ibu saat melahirkan yang tepat, sensitif dan mendukung ibu
Sarankan untuk mempergunakan cara yang tidak mempergunakan obat kimiawi dalam menolong ibu saat melahirkan ( pijat, aroma therapi dsb)
Biarkan ibu menentukan cara dan posisi melahirkan

Keringkan bayi secepatnya tanpa menghilangkan vernix yang menyamankan kulit bayi
Tengkurupkan bayi di dada atau perut ibu dengan kulit bayi melekat pada kulit ibu. Selimuti keduanya. Kalau perlu menggunakan topi bayi
BIARKAN BAYI MENCARI PUTING SUSU IBU SENDIRI . Ibu dapat merangsang bayi dengan sentuhan lembut. Bila perlu ibu boleh mendekatkan bayi pada puting tapi JANGAN MEMAKSAKAN bayi ke puting susu
Biarkan bayi dalam posisi kulit bersentuhan dg kulit ibu sampai proses menyusu pertama selesai
Ibu melahirkan dg proses operasi berikan kesempatan skin to skin contact
Bayi dipisahkan dari ibu untuk ditimbang, diukur, dicap, SETELAH MENYUSU DINI selesai. Tunda prosedur yang invasive
Hindarkan pemberian minuman pre-laktal

Minggu ini adalah pekan ASI sedunia. Tema nya tahun ini adalah Inisiasi Menyusu Dini; menyelamatkan 1 juta Bayi. Ibu saya selalu bilang bahwa anak itu titipan Allah. Kalau kita tahu bahwa dengan melakukan inisiasi menyusu dini dan memberikan ASI ekslusif 6 bulan adalah yang terbaik untuk anak kita, apakah kita tidak menzolimi mereka kalau kita tidak melakukannya?

Tiara

PS: Unicef di India telah mengupload video inisiasi menyusu dini dibawah ini. Oh iya, saya juga ingin mengucapkan selamat kepada Sophie Navita dan Ami Gumelar yang telah berhasil melakukan proses inisiasi menyusu dini ini juga!

Terima kasih, bu...

2007-05-16T19:52:00.000-07:00

"...Tiara.., ibu masuk ya..?" Suara ibu mertua saya sedikit mengagetkan saya. Saya baru saja terbangun beberapa menit yang lalu, namun rasanya masih ingin bermalas-malasan di tempat tidur sambil memeluk suami saya di samping yang masih tertidur pulas. "Iya bu, masuk aja nggak apa-apa.." Saya menjawab seraya berusaha bangun dari tempat tidur, agak susah payah memang, mengingat usia kandungan saya sudah memasuki minggu ke 32. Ibu kemudian masuk dengan membawa 2 buah goodie bags berwarna pink lalu berkata, "Tiara, ini ibu ada sesuatu buat kamu.. Nanti kalau habis ngelahirin kamu bisa pakai ini.." Saya dengan setengah mengantuk langsung membuka isi goodie bags yang diberikan ibu kepada saya. "Wah, apa ini bu?" Rupanya ibu memberikan seperangkat pembalut khusus untuk wanita yang baru saja melahirkan. "Makasih ya bu..!" Ibu pun berlalu dan kembali ke kamarnya.

Belum juga saya selesai melihat-lihat beragam pembalut yang baru saja ibu berikan kepada saya, langkah seseorang mendekati kamar kemabali terdengar dengan sangat jelas, "Tiara, ini ibu ada buku-buku buat kamu. Ini bagus sekali. Ini buku-buku tentang penampilan dan perilaku bayi yang baru lahir." Jelas ibu sambil memberikan beberapa buku kepada saya. "Ini ada juga yang bahasa inggris, 'The Amazing Newborn', ini bagus sekali. It will show you how to make the most of the first weeks of your baby's life." Mata saya langsung menuju foto-foto bayi yang menjadi cover buku-buku tersebut. "Ah, lucu banget ini bu bayinya.. Makasih ya bu, nanti pasti saya baca.."

Saya langsung mengguncang badan suami saya dengan maksud membangunkan, "Sayang, bangun deh.. Aku dikasih buku-buku ini dari ibu. Bagus banget deh.. Coba kamu lihat.." Dengan setengah mengantuk, Andy bangun dan berusaha untuk melihat apa yang saya ingin tunjukan ke dia. Tidak lama kemudian kami berdua sudah asyik tenggelam membaca buku-buku tersebut...

Sungguh pagi yang menyenangkan di hari pertama menuju libur panjang akhir minggu ini. Saya mendapatkan hadiah luar biasa dari ibu mertua saya. Terima kasih ya bu, ini sangat berarti untuk kami...

ps:
Untuk temen2 Blogger, saya mau mempekenalkan si Dede yang masih di perut saya. Imut banget deh. Waktu ini diambil, kalau nggak salah umur 29 minggu deh.

Tiara

Kicking Andy

2007-04-19T06:40:00.000-07:00

By Nirasha Darusman

Deg-degan, excited, anxious, nervous dan sejumlah kata sifat lainnya lagi yang saya rasakan, bercampur aduk ketika berada di belakang panggung studio 1 Metro TV, tempat di mana Tiara Lestari - klien baru saya yang juga merupakan teman kerja saya sebelum ia hijrah ke Singapura untuk mengejar cita-citanya di dunia modeling - menjadi bintang tamu untuk yang kedua kalinya disebuah acara talk show yang cukup bergengsi "KICK ANDY".

Berbagai rasa yang bercampur aduk menjadi satu sehingga sulit dijelaskan mana rasa yang lebih dominan dan mana yang hanya numpang lewat saja itu memang cukup normal untuk saya rasakan, mengingat acara ini sangat penting, baik bagi saya, maupun untuk Tiara. Penting untuk saya, karena bisa dikatakan acara ini adalah pertama kalinya saya "membawa" Tiara untuk tampil di acara talk show. Begitu juga bagi Tiara, walaupun ini merupakan penampilannya yang kedua di KICK ANDY, tapi ini adalah penampilan pertamanya di acara talk show TV untuk "membuka" apa saja yang sudah dan sedang terjadi di kehidupannya selama menghilangnya Tiara dari segala macam bentuk pemberitaan media.

Kembali ke detik-detik menuju kemunculan Tiara di panggung, ketika sang "FD" (Floor Director) memberikan aba-aba kepada penonton untuk bertepuk tangan, tanda acara akan segera dimulai. Kemudian dilanjutkan dengan opening oleh Bang Andy Noya, yang menurut saya sangat pintar dan selalu membawa rasa ingin tahu tentang sang bintang tamu yang dibicarakan. Sementara itu, di belakang panggung saya dan Tiara menunggu saat-saat Bang Andy memanggil Tiara. Saya bisa melihat dan merasakan dengan jelas kegugupan Tiara ketika itu. Dengan bola matanya yang besar dan sangat khas, dia melihat ke arah saya dan bertanya, "Do I look okay..? I'm nervous..." Saya melempar senyum lalu berkata, " You look beautiful, and you'll be fine. You've been doing great, dear.." Beberapa kalimat menenangkan yang keluar secara spontan dari mulut saya itu memang sudah semestinya diucapkan mengingat tugas saya sebagai personal manager Tiara, dan juga tidak kalah pentingnya, sebagai seorang teman. Seandainya dia tahu, saya juga deg-degan setengah mati!!

"...Dan mari kita sambut, TIARA LESTARI...!!!!" Kalimat terakhir dari Bang Andy tersebut merupakan cue bagi Tiara untuk keluar dari "persembunyiannya" di belakang panggung, menuju sofa nyaman yang telah disediakan di atas panggung. Saya "melepas" Tiara dengan mengucapkan, "Good luck..!!" Sesaat setelah itu, dengan setengah berlari dan sedikit susah payah karena saya mengenakan sepatu berhak cukup tinggi malam itu, saya langsung menuju ke bagian belakang penonton untuk melihat jalannya talk show.

Sekali lagi saya bisa merasakan kegugupan Tiara ketika berada di atas panggung. Saat Bang Andy menyapanya dan langsung bertanya, "Siapa yang hamilin kamu Tiara..?" Secara spontan Tiara langsung menjawab, "Andy.." Langsung disambut reaksi penonton di studio dengan tawa hangat. Saya menggigit keras-keras bibir bawah saya, berharap detak jantung saya yang masih berdegup dengan kencang itu bisa sedikit santai. Seandainya di ruangan mewah yang ber-AC itu dibolehkan merokok, pasti saya sedang menyulutkan api ke batang rokok Marlboro Lights Menthol saya untuk menurunkan adrenalin. Psikis memang, tapi setidaknya bisa sedikit menenangkan. Yet, I'd got no choice. I had to stand there and deal with all the anxiety myself.

Segmen pertama berjalan sangat lancar. Tiara terlihat sangat tenang walaupun saya yakin bahwa dia sebenarnya sangat gugup. Ini adalah hal luar biasa yang saya temukan pada seorang Tiara Lestari. She always manage to look very relaxed no matter how nervous she gets. Not only the looks, but also her tones in answering the questions. Anyone who listens would never think that she was nervous, because she always manage to talk very smoothly. I admire her for this. If I were in her shoe, anything that comes out of my mouth will be disastrous, no doubt. Tiara is a professional.

Segmen demi segmen berlalu dengan lancar, sangat lancar malah. Bahkan ketika Bang Andy berhasil membuat Andy Sjarif, suami Tiara yang duduk di barisan penonton paling depan untuk menjawab beberapa pertanyaan darinya. Terus terang, saya sempat kaget karena Andy sudah mewanti-wanti saya dan pihak Metro TV bahwa dia nggak mau diwawancara. Tapi apa daya, semuanya berjalan begitu saja, dan Andy pun tampak tidak keberatan untuk melakukannya.

Akhirnya segmen terakhir pun berlalu. Saya langsung berjalan menuju set panggung untuk menjemput Tiara, dan membawanya ke ruang tunggu. Namun, tak disangka, sejumlah penonton yang berada di studio ketika itu langsung saja menghampiri Tiara dan minta untuk berfoto bersama. Wow, saya sangat takjub melihat peristiwa tersebut. Hampir seluruh penonton yang jumlahnya puluhan itu ingin memiliki foto bersama Tiara Lestari. Dan rupanya tidak berhenti sampai di situ saja. Mereka juga menginginkan tanda tangan Tiara di buku semi-biografi Tiara yang dibagikan secara cuma-cuma kepada seluruh penonton di studio. Tiara harus menandatangani satu-persatu sejumlah buku tersebut. Dengan tidak lupa sambil melempar senyum selalu bertanya kepada sang pemilik buku, "Untuk siapa..?" Lalu ia menuliskan nama pemilik buku tersebut dan menandatanganinya. Satu-persatu. Pemandangan yang sungguh tidak biasa bagi saya, yang belum lama menjadi personal manager seorang Tiara Lestari.

Tiara Lestari. Di mata saya, dia adalah seorang perempuan yang kalem, tidak banyak omong. She knows what she wants, she knows how to get it, and she gets it. She just does. Setelah lama tidak berjumpa dan akhirnya kami dipertemukan kembali sekitar 2 bulan yang lalu dan akhirnya bekerja bersama dan KICK ANDY berhasil kami lewati dengan sukses berkat team work yang sangat solid. Sungguh pengalaman yang tidak terlupakan.

Thanks for letting me write on your blog girl!

Nira

When destiny meets choice

2007-03-31T08:09:00.000-07:00

Hello there everyone!

Today the countdown stops dan selamat ya kamu-kamu yang nebak cepet banget bahwa 10 hari terakhir ini adalah countdown untuk hari ini :)

Let me take you back in time. Kamu ingat posting pertama saya di blog ini tanggal 27 September 2005? Di posting pertama saya itu, saya bilang bahwa, "... being a model, for me is a temporary thing. I ultimately want to be a mother. I want the simple things like having a family and kids... lots of them."

Terus saya berlanjut disitu, "In life, sometimes you have to make a choice. I do not believe it is possible for me to be an international model and be a good mother at the same time....I will take this modeling career as far as it can get me, before I say 'I do' to man I love. When that day comes.. I will be the most loving wife any man can have. By choice... modeling will ceased being a priority in my life."

Well guys, one year ago today -April 1st 2006- I have made my choice and I said "I do" to man that is now my husband. I have found him. The one I can love and hate at the same time. The one that can make me laugh and cry with the same breath. The one that is going to be the father of my children. Most of all, I have found the man that is my imam. In short, I have found my destiny.

His name is Andy.

I have come full circle. Ironis kalau dipikir. Saya pergi ke tempat jauh, untuk mencari existensi lewat suatu karir, tapi saya malah dapat semua setelah saya meninggalkan karir itu. Existensi yang saya cari itu ternyata ada disini dan bukan di karir, tapi di hidup. Proses. Proses hidup.

I have traveled the world and seeing it with a pair of hungry eyes. But I could not FEEL the world until I closed my eyes. I found the answer when I was actually not looking. Ini emang proses. Proses hidup saya.

Nah temen-temen blogger, semua proses ini saya curahkan dalam suatu karya tulis berjudul Tiara Lestari: Uncut Stories. Saya kerja bareng dengan penulis yang bernama Windy. She is not just nice, but also very good in transforming my blog, thoughts and my writing into a book with a different style.

Hari ini, bersamaan dengan aniversary perkawinan saya yang setahun, saya akan meluncurkan buku ini. Kamu-kamu yang tinggal di Jakarta, saya mau undang kamu untuk datang di Brake Cafe, Citos, jam 3 sore, hari ini (Minggu, 1 April 2007).

This world is full of surprises. Termasuk keputusan saya untuk menikah setahun yang lalu. Dalam proses menulis buku ini, Windy tanya ke Andy apa sih arti menikah. Andy answered, "Marriage is when destiny meets choice."

When destiny meets choice. I could not agree more.

Tiara

piercing eyes :-)

2007-03-30T10:20:00.000-07:00

Older than two days..

2007-03-29T09:37:00.000-07:00

Thank you NIRA

2007-03-28T09:34:00.000-07:00

Masih saja berdiam disana

Sebuah rasa yang tak mungkin sirna

Ditemani asa yang tetap membara

Tentang sebuah kisah yang tak pernah ada

lost art..

2007-03-27T06:39:00.000-07:00

colorful.. aren't they?

2007-03-26T08:12:00.000-07:00

I love these actors...

2007-03-24T23:13:00.000-07:00

Pernyataan tanpa kata-kata... ;-)

2007-03-24T08:54:00.000-07:00

universal language.. or just math?

2007-03-23T10:18:00.000-07:00

just math. Or is it?

2007-03-22T15:22:00.000-07:00

Video klip "Malam yang indah"

2006-10-22T14:01:00.000-07:00

Akhirnya, setelah beberapa hari coba untuk nge load video klip saya, berhasil juga! :) I guess, ini hadiah lebaran saya untuk kamu-kamu. Have fun watching them ya!

Tiara

PS: Mohon maaf lahir batin ya semuanya! Hati-hati kalau pada mudik :)

Ring backtone untuk HP kamu;

Pro XL: 10201215, 10201216, 11400067.

Mobile 8: 305658900.

Telkomsel (katanya belum jalan nih): 2860724.

Dibalik lagu "Malam yang Indah" dari album Baron & Kafilah

2006-10-16T00:06:00.000-07:00

Mungkin belum banyak yang tahu kalau saya suka menyanyi, tapi hanya sebatas menyanyi di rumah. Saya ingat waktu kecil saya selalu menyanyi setiap kali melakukan kegiatan apa saja, sampai pernah tetangga complain saking berisiknya, dan dinding pembatas rumah kami memang tipis. Itu dulu, kalau sekarang lebih enak, nyanyi di karaoke Inul vizta bisa teriak-teriak sampai suaranya habis dan nggak ada yang complain. Hehe...

Sebulan yang lalu saya datang kerumah sahabat saya Baron (mungkin kalian juga sudah tau kalau dia itu mantan gitarisnya GIGI) yang kebetulan saat itu sedang menggarap sebuah album reliji bersama beberapa teman. Sampai disana dia bilang, "Loe mau nyanyi nggak Ti, buat rekaman?"

Masih terkaget-kaget, karena tumben si Baron nawarin saya nyanyi, dia kan tahu saya bukan penyanyi, saya bilang "Mau!" (sambil pura-pura yakin). Walau ada bagian dari saya yang memang pingin banget bisa nyanyi dan direkam, walau ada bagian lain yang merasa takuuut... ntar kalau suaranya jelek bakal diketawain satu RT deh...

Sejenak kemudian, saya pikir dia hanya menggoda saja, karena sebelumnya saya juga sering godain Baron meminta dia ajarin saya nyanyi. Dia selalu bilang, "Gampang..." dan malam itu juga dia memberikan saya sebuah cd yang berisikan satu buah lagu sambil bilang, "Ti tolong sampai rumah di dengerin dan dihafal ya, nanti tiga hari kesini lagi."

Selama tiga hari itu saya dengerin terus menerus lagu itu dan latihan sendiri, di mana saja saya berada nyanyinya lagu ituu terus. Isinya tentang ajakan orang untuk tidak ragu berzakat. Mmm sebuah lagu yang manis dan sangat kena di hati saya yang mungkin juga suka lupa berzakat.

Setelah tiga hari saya datang lagi kerumah Baron, eh sampai disana dia minta maaf, dia bilang kalau lagu sudah di minta dan dinyanyiin sama Jodi (Jodi-Edwin) tapi dia memberikan sebuah lagu yang berbeda untuk saya nyanyikan.

Ihh gimana sih ini si Baron...? Tapi buat saya sebetulnya sih sama saja, toh saya memang bukan penyanyi yang butuh lagu khusus dan perencanaan khusus, apalah si Tiara ini, nyanyi aja belum tentu bisa hehe...

Setelah saya baca beberapa kali, liriknya sangat menyentuh, saya tidak tahu kenapa kayanya lagu ini lebih pas buat saya. Dan Baron pun minta saya mulai menyanyi di dalam studionya. Setelah "take" vokal beberapa kali Baron bilang, " Ya sudah cukup".

Walau masih dalam kebingungan seperti orang jetlag karena kok rekaman prosesnya begitu doang sih, tapi hari itu saya ingat sebagai hari pertama saya bikin rekaman. Uihhh senengnya... Pertama kali saya rekaman lagu yang nggak dibikin di wannabe :)

Nah.. Tanggal 16 October, 2006, album BARON & KAFILAH dimana saya nyanyi satu lagu yang berjudul "Malam yang Indah" secara resmi diluncurkan. Bagus nggaknya saya nggak tau.. saya hanya tahu saya merasa berterima kasih dan merasa beruntung diberi kesempatan untuk bekerja sama dengan temen2 yang mencoba membawa saya ke jalan yang lebih baik. CD dan kasetnya udah beredar loh kalau kamu-kamu yang penasaran! :)

Tiara

PS: Selain saya, ada dua belas penyanyi dan musisi yang berkolaborasi dalam album ini. Banyak dari mereka bisa disebut dalam kategori yang sama dengan saya... penyanyi amatir hehehe

Nonton I LOVE YOU, OM

2006-09-04T05:23:00.000-07:00

Hari ini saya diundang untuk private viewing film I LOVE YOU, OM.

Setelah saya nonton film ini, pemikiran saya hanya terfokus dengan satu kata, "sinting". Film ini adalah suatu kesintingan kreatif yg mampu mengangkat topik diluar jalur normatif, disajikan secara ringan dan bisa membuat kita penonton terjerat dalam perjalanan emosi ceritanya. Sinting! Dan kalau boleh terus terang, sebagai orang awam dalam dunia perfileman, saya sangat impress dengan film ini

Sejak pulang ke Indonesia, saya selalu menyempatkan diri menonton film Indonesia dan saya sering sekali keluar bioskop kecewa. Kecewa karena terkadang ceritanya membosankan, kadang kualitas aktingnya tidak "menyihir". Yang pasti, banyak film Indonesia yang saya tonton tidak berhasil memberikan dan membentuk emotional connection dengan saya sebagai penonton.

Lain dengan I LOVE YOU, OM. This movie made me cry, it made me laugh, it made think about my childhood, and most of all, this movie made an emotional connection at the depth of my humanty. Dan semua itu dilakukan melalui topik yang jarang dibicarakan orang. Sinting.

Kalau kamu hanya akan nonton satu film Indonesia tahun ini, saya usul, nonton deh I LOVE YOU, OM. It's worth your money.

Tiara

PS: Ngomong soal akting, pemeran utama film ini umurnya sepuluh tahun. She is damn good!

I Love you, Om

2006-08-27T23:41:00.000-07:00

Hari ini saya dapat undangan untuk private viewing sebuah film Indonesia yang akan mulai diputar awal September nanti. Judulnya I love you, Om.

Catchy title ya?

Tadi malam saya dapat trailer film ini dan langsung saya tonton. Setelah selesai melihat trailernya, saya segera menelpon manajemen saya untuk menerima undangan private viewing itu

Film itu suatu medium yang menurut saya sangat powerful. Film punya kemampuan untuk berkomunikasi dengan emosi kita. Bedanya emosi dengan memori hanya satu: rasa atau feeling. Kita bisa ingat sesuatu dalam memori kita. Tapi, jika kita ingat dan benar-benar merasakannya.. nah -menurut saya- itu lebih powerful. Itu yang mampu diberikan oleh sebuah film untuk kita. Powerful.

Problem dengan teori itu, banyak film hanya berani mengangkat cerita-cerita yang semua orang ngomongin... mungkin karena takut rugi kali ya. Contohnya.. film tentang jatuh cintanya dua insan atau film tentang kegagalan yang lalu dirubah menjadi keberhasilan.. bla bla bla.

When everyone is showing the same thing or the same subject talking about the same thing to reach the biggest number of people.. then movies become boring.

Ini yang bikin saya tertarik nonton I love you, Om. Si pembuat film ini mungkin telah mendapat suatu angle yang beda dari yang lain. Dari trailer ini, terlihat bahwa film ini bercerita tentang suatu pengalaman yang banyak orang mengalami, tapi tidak pernah dibicarakan. Emotional connection tanpa pembicaraan. Briliant idea.

Saya nggak tahu apakah film ini bagus atau tidak, tapi satu yang pasti untuk saya, trailernya telah mengajak saya kembali ke masa kecil saya yang tidak pernah saya bicarakan dengan siapa pun. Dan lucunya setelah saya berbicara dengan teman-teman saya, ternyata banyak juga dari mereka mengalami proses yang sama waktu mereka kecil.

Figur seseorang yang jauh lebih tua, apakah seorang guru, saudara jauh, bahkan teman orang tua kita. Siapapun juga, kita pernah mengalami proses "pre- cinta monyet" yang benar-benar murni dan tidak permanen. Dari kaca mata anak kecil, nothing is impure. Termasuk proses ini.

Jika skenario film ini bisa sebagus trailer yang saya lihat, this movie will be a rare diamond among countless of mediocre movies release by other Indonesia movie makers.

Tiara

SCTV Awards.. 4 jam nunggu, 4 menit tampil

2006-08-26T01:48:00.000-07:00

Tadi malam saya tampil di SCTV awards sebagai salah satu dari puluhan orang yang membacakan nominasi. Nah waktu ditawarkan, saya cukup senang juga sih karena belum pernah tampil di acara award TV sebelumnya kan. Manajemen saya juga excited karena saya diminta membacakan penghargaan lifetime achievement awards.

Manajer saya, Bharata, malah bilang ke saya, "Ti, bacaain lifetime acheivement award itu cukup prestigious loh.". Katanya... :) hihihi ge..er

Seperti hal-hal lain yang baru sejak di Jakarta ini, saya datang jam 5 sore tanpa expectation. Go along for the ride aja deh. ..

Well, make a long story short.. ternyata award show itu lama. Nah kita-kita ini yang sudah harus stand by dari jam 5 sore (on time lho!) jadinya ya gitu deh... harus nunggu giliran. Nunggu giliran di make up dan nunggu giliran tampil, hahaha. Untuk kamu-kamu yang nggak sempet lihat tadi malam, saya akhirnya tampil jam 11.30 malam!

Tapi overall, it was a fun experience. Saya terutama sangat impress sama orang-orang SCTV yang profesional dan nice banget deh sama kita-kita yang nunggu di back stage.

Oh ya, satu kejadian agak surreal kalau di masukan dalam konteks perkenalan dengan seseorang. Saya kebetulan duduk di sebelah Luna Maya dan memang kita berdua belum pernah ketemu sebelumnya. Sambil dimake up, dia nengok ke saya dan bilang, "Tiara Lestari ya." I smile at her and said, "Luna Maya ya." We both laugh. Akhirnya kita sedikit ngobrol2 aja. I always respect people who are productive in their lives. She is both productive and very focus, and for that, I admire her.

Pasangan saya membacakan award adalah seorang bintang sinetron bernama Iqbal. We have one thing same in common that night: kedinginan bo!

Satu lagi yang positif ikut di acara award show: nambah temen :)

Jadi kesimpulan saya jika mendapat job di sebuah award show: Next time, bawa buku, bawa jacket and keep smiling :)

Tiara

A tribute to Daniel and Jana

2006-08-11T21:40:00.000-07:00

Kadang-kadang hidup ini emang nggak bisa direncanain. Udah ada yang ngatur semua.

Weekend ini rencananya mau ke Bali. Rileks aja untuk sabtu dan minggu. Saya udah janji cukup lama untuk nginep dirumah temen saya yang bernama Daniel dan Jana... so I called them dan semua set. Daniel dan Jana adalah pasangan suami istri yang baik sekali sama saya yang walaupun hanya bertemu beberapa kali tapi saya merasa menggenal dekat dengan mereka. Daniel orang Perancis yang sangat cinta dengan Bali sedangkan Jana asli Jawa. Mereka tinggal di Bali dengan anak-anaknya yang masih kecil.

Semua direncanakan dengan baik. Saya akan dtg sabtu pagi, hang out sama mereka dan nginep dirumah mereka. What fun!

Bayangkan bagaimana shocknya saya ketika malam ini saya mendapat sms dari Jana bahwa Daniel meniggal dunia jam 6 sore tadi. Heart Attack.

Saya bener-bener nggak percaya. Tapi lebih lagi, I feel so bad for Jana and her kids.

Daniel really loved Bali. Dia kerja sebagai constuction manager dan setiap jam 5 sore dia pasti bisa ditemukan duduk di Lanai Bar di Kuta mamandangi pantai kuta. Dia pernah bilang sama saya bahwa," Hidup ini pilihan. Kamu bisa bekerja keras, bikin banyak uang tapi tidak menikmatinya sampai kamu mati. Atau kamu bisa memilih untuk menikmati hidup kamu sambil bekerja untuk tetap hidup, sebelum kamu mati. Pilih mana?". Wise words.

More important, Daniel made a choice to live his life the way he wants to. He enjoyed life to the max and lovingly be a part of a community he loved and a place he adored with the woman he cherished. I hope my life will be half the kind of life daniel lead.

This is a tribute to my friends; Daniel and Jana. May God blessed you in both lifetimes.

Tiara.

Old friend found

2006-08-04T09:11:00.000-07:00

Saya punya seorang sahabat yang bernama Felbi. Dulu sebelum saya hijrah ke Singapura, saya sama Felbi ini sudah seperti lem sama kertas...kemana-mana barengan terus. Terakhir saya bertemu sama Felbi itu kira-kira 5 tahun yang lalu. Banyak sekali kenangan-kenangan lucu yang nggak bisa di lupakan. Pernah semaleman kita nggak tidur, ngobrol di butiknya felbi sambil cobain semua baju, terus dilanjutkan dengan foto-foto sampai pagi. Just do stupid thing with my girl friends.

Kira-kira seminggu yang lalu saya datang ke sebuah pesta ulang tahun di daerah menteng. Salah satu orang yang datang di pesta itu ternyata kenal sama Felbi! Saya kaget banget waktu orang itu bilang bahwa Felbi tuh pingin banget ketemu saya, cuma nggak berhasil mengkontak saya. Orang itu lalu memberikan no HP Felbi.

Sepulang dari acara tersebut dengan rasa senang sekali saya langsung menelpon Felbi yang ternyata saat itu sedang menunaikan ibadah Umroh. Felbi juga terdengar sangat surprise mendengar suara saya dan kita berdua memutuskan untuk bertemu setelah dia kembali ke Jakarta.

Make a long story short, saya dan Felbi ketemuan hari ini. Banyak banget cerita di dalem kepala yang aku mau share sama dia. Nggak kebayang deh dua sahabat yang nggak pernah ketemuan selama 5 tahun duduk bareng saling share story about each other's life. Enam jam kita habiskan di sebuah kafe untuk bercerita sambil ngopi. Tanpa sadar 5 gelas kopi saya habiskan sepanjang bercerita.

5 years is a long time. Kurun waktu seperti itu cukup merubah seseorang menjadi lebih baik atau lebih buruk. Untuk kasus Felbi, ini cukup extreme. Felbi yang saya kenal dulu adalah seorang party animal (it's true!) yang bisanya (dan sukanya) hanya dugem, dugem dan dugem. Felbi yang sekarang ... wow... what a difference. Dia adalah seorang istri yang pernuh perhatian dan kesabaran. Seorang muslimah yang tidak pernah lewat sholatnya. Dan -yang paling shocking- adalah seseorang yang sedang mencari jati diri melalui ajaran-ajaran agama. I'm just so happy for her!

Moral of the story; people can and probably will change. Pertanyaannya.. apakah kita akan berubah menjadi lebih baik.. atau lebih buruk? My friend have made her choice and I am very proud of her. I hope I can do the same. Be a better person everyday

Tiara

ps:
Oh iya, kalau punya waktu, saya mau ngajak kamu untuk nonton bareng konsernya Sujiwo Tejo. Hari Jum'at 11 Agusus 2006 jam 19.00 di Resto Omah Sendok, Jl. Mpu Sendok 45, Senopati, Kebayoran Baru, Jakarta Selatan. CU there!

Undangannya Rp. 25.000,- bisa pesen di:

Eki Productions
Jl. Padang No. 32, Jakarta Pusat
Tel. 021 - 831 2377/3029
Contact Person: Tinny 0818 789 067

Jambore nasional khusus cewek

2006-07-19T00:25:00.000-07:00

Beberapa waktu yang lalu manajemen saya menunjukan surat undangan dari Ibu Menteri Negara Pemberdayaan Perempuan untuk saya menjadi pembicara di Jambore Nasional Pemberdayaan Gender. Nah loh!

Kaget juga sih. Saya mikir, kenapa saya yang diundang? Terus terang aja saya ngerasa kurang pantes dan nggak tau kontribusi apa yang bisa saya berikan sebagai pembicara disana. Saya bukan pakar gender dari kacamata sosial, budaya atau dari sisi mana pun. Satu-satunya yang mungkin saya bisa kontribusikan adalah sharing mengenai pengalaman hidup saya sebagai seorang perempuan.

Di mata saya pemberdayaan gender akan sulit direalisasikan tanpa kita-kita perempuan mulai memiliki rasa independen dan keyakinan untuk mencapai apapun tujuan kita dalam hidup. Overly simple? Mungkin.

Saya sangat menghargai Ibu menteri dan undangan beliau bukan sesuatu yang saya anggap ringan. Setelah beberapa hari diskusi dan sedikit berdebat dengan manajemen, akhirnya saya memutuskan untuk hadir.

Hari-H nya, saya ditemani manajer saya kita berangkat ke lido dekat sukabumi pagi-pagi sekali. Saya ingat bahwa sepanjang perjalan saya nerveous sekali karena saya tidak tau siapa saja yang akan jadi pembicara selain saya dan apakah saya bisa menyamai kualitas mereka. Akhirnya kita sampai disana walaupun cukup telat.Sesampai disana saya tambah tegang lagi melihat kualitas pembicara-pembicara yang lain. Ada Mas Darwis Triadi, Bu Pingky Saptandari dan Pak Dadang Hawari sebagai pembicara bersama saya. Disatu sisi, saya cukup risih berada didepan dengan pembicara-pembicara berkualitas seperti mereka. Namun, dari sisi lain, saya merasa sangat berterimakasih untuk kesempatan ini. Apa yang mereka bicarakan ternyata dapat saya gunakan sebagai penambahan ilmu untuk saya. Alhasil, kedatangan saya disini memberikan banyak nilai-nilai positif untuk saya sendiri.

Saya juga cukup bangga melihat kepasitas peserta-peserta yang hadir. Kebanyakan mahasiswa.. eh maksud saya mahasiswi :) Mereka datang dari berbagai daerah dan saya melihat sendiri kualitas dan inteligensi mereka dalam bertanya. Wah kalau masa depan kita di miliki oleh mereka, mungkin negara kita ini akan menjadi lebih baik.Setelah saya berbicara singkat mengenai pengalaman hidup saya, sesi tanya jawab dimulai. Saya pikir sesi itu adalah puncak acara karena mereka benar-benar tidak takut bertanya dan itu membuat saya sangat kagum.

Ternyata, setelah acara selesai, saya sangat tidak menyangka banyak dari peserta yang mendatangi saya untuk berbincang-bincang dan berdiskusi lebih lanjut. Saya cukup kaget melihat antusiasme mereka -yang notabene kebanyakan wanita- dalam berdiskusi dan juga keinginanan mereka untuk tahu lebih lanjut tentang saya.

Saya benar-benar merasa bangga bisa memberikan kontribusi -bagaimanapun kecilnya- untuk suatu proses yang saya percaya harus mulai disadari oleh semua pihak. Kalau boleh mengutip Pak Dadang Hawari yang kira-kira sebagai berikut"Wanita tidak dibuat dari kepala Pria untuk lebih tinggi. Tidak dari kaki pria untuk diinjak. Wanita dibuat dari tulang rusuk Pria untuk dilindungi dan disejajarkan." (Maaf kalau salah ya Pak).

Wow, what a day, what an experience!

Tiara

PS: Wah posting yang terakhir kelihatannya cukup hot nih komentar-komentarnya. Walau saya udah jarang komentar, saya baca semua komentar kamu-kamu kok. Thanks! Good, bad or ugly... keep those comments coming!

komentar kotor pasti berlalu...

2006-06-15T09:03:00.000-07:00

Saya selalu baca semua comment yang masuk di blog ini. Emang sih, saya udah jarang sekali reply comment kamu-kamu, tapi.. bukan berarti saya ngga baca lho..ngga ada satupun yang terlewat dari pandangan mata saya..

Nah, akhir-akhir ini, banyak comment kotor dan kasar yang berdatangan di blog saya. Terus terang, sejak saya mulai nge-blog September 2005, comment serendah dan sebodoh itu sih sudah saya anggap biasa. Yang belum biasa adalah perasaan nggak enak saya sama teman-teman yang merasa risih dengan comment tersebut dan meminta saya untuk menghapusnya. Untuk ketidaknyamanan itu saya minta maaf, atas nama orang-orang yang berpikiran rendah dan nggak berani pakai nama mereka sendiri. Maaf ya teman-teman, saya harus tetap konsisten dengan tidak menghapus comment yang ngga bermutu itu :(

Waktu blog ini hanya dikunjungi oleh 48 orang di bulan Septembar 2005, saya sudah berkomitmen untuk menerima semua comment, apalagi sekarang dimana pengunjung blog ini sudah lebih dari 210,000 unique visitors, saya merasa harus tetap konsisten.
Kalau sampai sekarang masih saja ada comment negative, ya biarin aja, kita ngak usah turun ke level mereka yang berani bicara sekotor itu mengenai saya tapi ngga berani menaruh namanya. Teman-teman pasti sudah tahu kan orang macam apa mereka, jadi... ngga usahlah buang-buang energi untuk merasa kesal atau terganggu dengan comment seperti itu, disini kan ajang pertarungan substansi terbuka dimana semua orang bebas bicara apa aja.. Setuju ngga?

Mau berpendapat baik atau buruk, saya tidak keberatan, selama comment itu bersubstansi, saya akan membaca dan menghormati komentar kamu. Kalau comment kamu tidak ada substansinya, saya juga akan tetap membacanya, tersenyum dan tidak memperdulikan komentar kamu.

Jadi teman-teman, kalau saya aja bisa positive thinking, saya yakin kamu kamu juga bisa. Lets just be positive and keep smiling!!

Tiara

100sexiest@fhm.co.id

2006-06-03T05:59:00.000-07:00

Seorang wanita yang elegan, apa dia bisa juga sexy atau -lebih tepatnya- sensual? Apakah sexy atau sensual harus selalu sama dengan vulgar atau seronok yang -jelas- tidak elegan? Hmmm...

Manager saya tadi pagi telpon, dia bilang nama saya ada di list 100 sexiest women versi FHM Indonesia. Dia bilang,"Ti, ini hasil sementara loh.. jadi bisa aja kamu jadi nomor satu kalau orang-orang pada email ke FHM dan nulis nama kamu!" Saya ketawa sambil berpikir ah.. Bharata memang selalu penuh semangat.

Tadinya saya berpikir "Kok lucu ya. Sejak saya kembali, saya tidak pernah tampil dimajalah pria manapun juga.. apalagi tampil super sexy. Kok bisa-bisanya masih masuk dalam list itu?". Namun saya mikir lagi.. kalau nama saya memang ada di list itu, artinya banyak teman-teman yang beranggapan bahwa sexy does not always mean naked. Lady Diana.. elegan.. dan tetap sexy. Apakah Demi Moore di film A few Good Men tidak sexy walau berbaju tertutup selama film tersebut? Jelas dia sexy.

Mungkin.. mungkin saja.. bahwa sexy nya seorang wanita bisa dilihat dari hal-hal yang lebih dalam dan bukan hanya dari berapa persen kulit yang terbuka. Kalau memang begitu... saya berterima kasih kepada kamu-kamu yang mengirim email ke FHM dan menulis nama Tiara Lestari.

In the end, being sexy may just be about who you are as a person and the light that shines through your eyes, penetrating deep into one's soul. Maybe.

Tiara

Tangisan dan pertolongan untuk Bantul dan Jogja

2006-05-27T07:43:00.000-07:00

Melihat tragedi yang menimpa saudara-saudara kita di Bantul , Jogja dan sekitarnya, saya merasa sangat sedih. Tak terbayangkan sakitnya kehilangan keluarga yang mereka cintai dan sampai sekarang mereka tidak tahu akan tinggal dimana karena rumah mereka hancur lebur. Saya benar-benar nggak tahan waktu melihat seorang wanita setengah baya menangis histeris karena ayahnya meninggal, seorang ibu kehilangan bayinya dan seorang nenek ditemukan meninggal di bawah reruntuhan rumahnya sendiri. Itu semua hanya gambar visual yang saya lihat di tv. Sungguh tak terbayangkan jika kita sendiri mengalaminya. Semua itu membuat saya meneteskan air mata.

Saya yakin bukan saya saja yang merasakan sedih dan teriris-iris hatinya melihat itu semua. Tapi tangisan kita tidak akan membantu mereka. Mereka membutuhkan lebih dari itu... selain doa apa yang bisa kita berikan untuk saudara-saudara kita? Walaupun kita tidak bisa bantu banyak, marilah kita ulurkan tangan untuk membantu mereka. Berapapun yang kita berikan itu akan sangat berarti untuk saudara kita.

Kalau Solo adalah rumah saya, artinya yang menderita ini adalah tetangga-tetangga terdekat saya.. yang jelas mereka adalah saudara saya.. saudara kita juga. 2700 nyawa telah menghadap Yang Kuasa hari ini. Saya berdoa untuk mereka. Ribuan lainnya menderita dan perlu uluran tangan kita semua. Sekarang.

Saya mengucapkan belasungkawa yang sebesar-besarnya dan menghimbau teman-teman semua untuk menolong dengan apapun kemampuan kita...

Tiara

Career path n Friendster

2006-05-15T00:53:00.000-07:00

Hallo Semua!!

Saya baru selesai baca buku, judulnya Maria & Mariam. Aduh buku ini bagus banget dehh...ceritanya tentang dua perempuan dengan latar belakang sangat berbeda yang sedang mencari jati diri. Saya ngga pernah baca buku dengan pemikiran yang seberani ini loh, sampe-sampe dalam dua hari buku ini selesai saya baca saking penasarannya. Hari Jumat kemaren, manager saya ngajak dateng ke acara bedah bukunya Maria & Mariam, disana saya sempat ketemu dan ngobrol sama penulis buku yang namanya Mba Farahdiba. Aku nge-fans banget sama dia, She’s passionate and full of positive energy, generally She’s a very impressive person.

Mmm…saya sebenernya lagi agak bingung nih, ada beberapa tawaran pekerjaan yang dateng, tapi saya ngga mau salah pilih karena mengandalkan aji mumpung. Seperti dunia saya sebelumnya di modeling luar negeri, saya bener-bener ingin totalitas dalam berkarir. Dari semua tawaran itu, tawaran untuk main sinetron atau akting di TV paling banyak. Saya udah banyak diskusi sama tim manajemen sih, tapi tetep aja butuh saran dan pendapat dari kamu-kamu. Kalian kan ibaratnya cermin, dimana saya bisa tau mana yang baik dan ngga untuk saya :)

Kalau menurut kamu, selain tetap modeling, mana sih yang paling tepat untuk saya:

1. Main film layar lebar,
2. Jadi presenter atau punya talkshow sendiri di TV,
3. Terjun ke sinetron,
4. atau jadi penyanyi (hehe yang ini sih mau, cuman kemampuan diragukan manajemen saya)

Jalur mana yang harus saya pilih? Bantuin ya, supaya saya ngga salah melangkah dan dapat milih yang terbaik. Really need your opinion guys..!!

Tiara

Ps: banyak banget yang nanyain saya, punya account Friendster atau ngga. Ada juga yang mengira saya udah punya account Friendster karena banyak yang ngaku-ngaku sebagai Tiara, sebel kaaann... Makanya, sekarang aku nyerah deh, aku udah bikin account Friendster Tiara Lestari yang asli. Add aku di tiaralestar@yahoo.com yah..

Again, Mbah Jul, makasih banget buat fotonya!

Nambah buku!

2006-05-05T10:04:00.000-07:00

Saya baru dapet kabar yang lagi-lagi surprising...kali ini dateng dari percetakan buku saya. Mereka bilang, ada ekstra buku yang mereka cetakin buat saya, lumayan banyak lho ada sekitar 100 buku (baik banget yah!!)...

Saya mikir-mikir, besok Sabtu dan Minggu kan saya ada di Sudirman Place untuk ketemu temen-temen yang beli poster dan VCD, sekalian aja bukunya juga ya. Jadi buat yang belum sempet beli buku foto, bisa dibeli langsung hari Sabtu jam 4-jam 7 malam dan Minggu jam 2-4 sore. Inget lho, saya ngga lama-lama di Sudirman Place, kalo mau beli buku atau poster yang ada tanda tangan saya, catet tanggal dan jamnya ya.

Untuk harga, saya kasih tau disini aja deh, biar teman-teman bisa nyiapin uangnya (kalau mau beli loh:)

Buku : Rp. 199.000
Poster : Rp. 50.000
VCD : Rp. 50.000

Masih terjangkau kantong kaann...apalagi belum lama gajian, semoga masih ada sisa buat belanja buku, poster atau VCD :)

Sampai ketemu besok ya

Tiara

PS: Tadi acara diskusi fotografi sama Kang Ayang seru lho, makasih buat teman-teman yang udah nyempatin hadir.

Poster child

2006-05-02T09:24:00.000-07:00

Teman-teman, saya mau minta maaf nih...

Ada dua hal, pertama saya sibuk banget akhir-akhir ini sampe ngga sempet posting..beberapa kali muncul di media udah langsung terimbas ke blog nih :(
Trus yang kedua, surprise yang saya bilang tanggal 1 Mei itu terpaksa diundur harus diundur dulu.....

Tapi jangan kecewa dulu dong, karena aku masih punya banyak kabar baik yang saya mau kasih tau ke kamu-kamu.
Buat yang belum sempat datang ke pameran fotoku, jangan khawatir karena pihak manajemen dan Sudirman Place memutuskan untuk memperpanjang pameran sampai hari Minggu, tanggal 7 Mei. Makanya, buruan dateng ya.

Dalam minggu ini juga ada beberapa acara yang bakal digelar di Sudirman Place, tempat pameran fotoku. Dijamin fun deh!

Ayang Kalake, fotograferku mau ngadain diskusi fotografi hari Jumat, tanggal 5 Mei, jam 18:30. Temen-temen yang jago atau tertarik banget sama fotografi aku saranin dateng deh, kapan lagi nyuri ilmu dari Ayang. Kalian juga bisa sharing pengalaman disitu.

Yang lebih seru lagi, untuk kamu-kamu yang pingin ketemuan sama saya , dateng aja dan ke Sudirman Place hari Sabtu, 6 Mei, jam 16:00 - 19:00 dan hari Minggu, 7 Mei, jam 14:00 - 16:00. Ngga cuma ketemu saya lho..kamu juga bisa beli VCD behind the scene pemotretanku di Bali dan poster-poster seperti yang kamu liat disini...

Mmm..semoga cukup ya sebagai permintaan maaf saya..
Can't wait to see you guyz...this time, jangan ketinggalan yah!!

Tiara

PS: Kamu-kamu yang pesan buku dari luar Jakarta, saya baru diberi tahu pengiriman bukunya agak terlambat. Sabar ya...

Tiga kali pertemuan dangan fans.. ehm friends maksudnya

2006-04-29T09:27:00.000-07:00

Kamu ingetkan dari dulu saya suka risih pake kata-kata "fans". Prince si penyanyi itu pernah bilang bahwa kata-kata "fans" itu turunan dari kata-kata "fanatics".. sejak itu saya nggak suka pake kata-kata fans.. I prefer "friends".

Anyway, tadi malam adalah jumpa saya dengan "friends" saya di Sudirman Place.. tepatnya di Bali Deli. Pertama tempatnya cool banget deh.. it is gourmet grocery store.. jadi ada delinya dengan makanan yang top banget deh :)

Kedua, seperti dua kali pertemuan dengan "friends" sebelumnya, saya mau di set intimate.. jadi nggak lebih dari dua puluh orang yang dateng. Yang membedakan kali ini adalah teman-teman wartawan yang datang meliput. (rahasianya kebongkar nih guys:) Nggak apa-apa ya?

Karena ini pertemuan rahasia terakhir, jadi saya bisa ngomong di blog ini: Teman-teman...Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Untuk semuanya yang ngedukung saya dan terutama kamu-kamu yang menyempatkan datang tadi malam.. termasuk yang dari Bandung!!

Bagaimanapun juga saya nggak lupa kok. Jauh sebelum media tertarik sama yang namanya Tiara Lestari, kamu-kamu blogger udah ngedukung saya. Jauh sebelum bisa lihat saya di TV atau majalah, kamu-kamu dengan komen dan e-mail kamu sudah membuat saya merasa diterima di negara saya sendiri.

Jadi untuk saya, bertemu muka dengan kamu-kamu yang datang dan mengenal saya melalui medium blog ini adalah suatu "blessing" untuk saya. You made me feel welcome. You have made me feel lucky... and for that, I thank you.

Manajemen saya bilang acara pertemuan itu hanya satu jam saja.. hehehe kayaknya kita disana ngobrol-ngobrol lebih dari tiga jam deh :) Tapi saya sih jujur aja fun banget tadi malem ngorbrol-ngobrol kayak gitu sampai lupa waktu. Setidak-tidaknya saya sekarang tahu mukanya kamu-kamu yang suka taruh komen di blog ini dengan nama-nama ajaib hehehe.

I can't wait to do this again guys.

Thank you for being my friends....

Tiara

PS: Mbah!!! Thank you foto-fotonya

Pertemuan rahasia dan buaya!

2006-04-26T19:59:00.000-07:00

Yang tadi malam nggak sempat lihat lepas malam, saya tampil sama Mas Ray Sahetapy dan Mas Gogon. Terus terang seumur hidup, saya belum pernah sedekat itu sama buaya (bukan Mas Ray atau Mas Gogon loh:). Staffnya lepas malam bilang ke manajemen saya bahwa buaya itu akan didatangkan ke panggung didalam kerangkeng.. eh begitu keluar ternyata bebas-bebas aja tuh! Kaget juga waktu si buaya itu jalan menuju arah kami.

Tapi selain itu, fun banget loh di lepas malam itu. Hostnya emang ceriwis :) Saya bener-benar enjoy.

Tiara

PS: Oh iya, kamu-kamu yang sudah beli buku mustinya hari ini dapat email dari saya atau ditelpon oleh manajemen saya untuk pertemuan rahasia kita besok. Nah, kalau ada yang terlewat, cepetan email saya ya karena kita rencana ketemuan besok malam (Jumat, 6.30 Malam). Dimana? ya kalau gitu mah nggak rahasia dong...

Today I am home

2006-04-22T19:10:00.000-07:00

Today is the first day for me. The first day of a new career in my own native land of Indonesia. At 1pm Jakarta time, "from Sensual to Elegance" exhibition begins and you my friends are all welcome to visit me there today, Sunday April 23rd until Sunday, April 30th at the Sudirman Place, Jakarta.

Yesterday, a good friend asked me if I can describe my feelings about this exhibition into words. I couldn't. This exhibition is a part of my soul screaming without words for existence in a world where I don't belong. But I am asking anyway. He then asked me to write a poem about it.

So I did. In my own language. For my brothers and sisters all over Indonesia. Thank you for supporting me.

BOLEHKAH

Tadi malam
Saya keluar rumah
Saya melihat keatas
Mencari matahari…

Yang ada hanya bintang
Kecil…
Kecil... diatas sana

Kemana Matahari yang besar itu?
Kemana si Dia yang menguasai hari?
Kenapa dia tenggelam?

Sebesar itu...
Sekuat itu...

Apalagi saya yang sekecil ini..
Apalagi saya yang selemah ini...

Besok paginya saya mengintip
Dari jendela kamar saya

Si matahari sudah terbit lagi!
Langit dikuasainya lagi....
Bintang-bintang dan bulan bersembunyi

Dia yang tenggelam
Telah bangkit lagi...
Berdiri tegak
Menguasai langit!!

Bolehkah saya bangkit kembali?
Berdiri tegar seperti si matahari?

Saya ingin...
Saya mau...
Saya berniat.

Jakarta, 23 April 2006
Tiara Lestari

PS: Come back to tiaralestari.com on May 1st for a pleasant surprise for all of you :)

Yang nunggu gajian reservasi aja bukunya :)

2006-04-19T06:13:00.000-07:00

Setelah saya posting mengenai penjualan buku dua hari yang lalu, selain mendapat email teman-teman yang telah mengirimkan pembayaran (thank you!), ada dua tipe email lagi. Satu, yang bilang mereka anak kost dan harus nunggu gajian. Dua, mereka-mereka yang mahasiswa.

Wah saya jadi nggak enak nih sama kamu-kamu yang kost-kost an atau yang masih pada kuliah.

Jangan salah loh, saya ini juga mantan anak kost juga jadi ngerti deh kondisi akhir bulan. Buat saya, yang paling penting adalah kamu-kamu dapat bukunya dan kita bisa ketemuan. Jadi untuk kamu yang ngasih "permohonan" di email atau di comment box kemarin, saya usul gini deh:

Supaya nggak kehabisan bukunya, reservasi aja dulu dengan mengirimkan Rp. 50.000 ke:

Bharata K
BCA KCP Matraman
No: 342 250 1433

sebelum hari Sabtu, tanggal 22 April 2006, jam 5 sore. Untuk kamu-kamu yang reservasi ini, saya akan kirim bukunya awal bulan depan jadi kamu bisa bayar sisanya waktu buku itu dikirim ke kamu. Fair?

Jangan lupa kirim fax bukti transfer ke 829-8284 lengkap dengan nama, alamat dan no kontak. Kalau mau boleh juga kamu scan bukti transfernya dan di email ke tiaralestar@yahoo.com. Tapi kamu nggak dapet CD ya.. nggak apa-apa dong ;)

Oh iya, saya masih ada beberapa CD, jadi kamu-kamu yang bayar full, masih bisa saya kirimkan CD 24 menit behind the scene dan interview saya (selama masih tersedia ya). Anyway, jangan lupa bahwa tawaran untuk membeli buku ini hanya sampai hari Sabtu tanggal 22 April 2006, jam 5 sore. Bersamaan dengan pameran dimulai. Setelah itu, buku ini tidak akan pernah dijual lagi. Kan namanya juga limited edition.

Yang bayar full, tetap akan mendapatkan buku dengan tanda tangan saya, ditambah dengan tempat, hari dan waktu rahasia pertemuan kita-kita! Nah kamu-kamu yang baru reservasi dengan mengirim Rp.50.000, saya akan email kamu-kamu tempat dimana kita akan adakan pertemuan blogger itu. Ok?

Cepetan ya.. jangan sampai kehabisan...

Tiara

Sttt... Hanya untuk para Blogger saja

2006-04-17T11:13:00.000-07:00

Mungkin sudah banyak yang tahu mengenai pameran foto saya di Sudirman Place, Jakarta tanggal 22-30 April 2006 ini. Hanya dengan baca koran, nonton TV dan mendengar radio, kamu-kamu mungkin sudah tahu itu. Iya kan?

Nah, sekarang saya ingin mengadakan pertemuan rahasia hanya dengan blogger-blogger saja. Kenapa begitu? Karena saya tahu kamu-kamu yang datang kesini dapat dikategorikan special friends oleh saya. Benar nggak? Jelas dong, kamu-kamu bisa tahu lebih banyak dan mendalam mengenai saya dari blog ini dan kamu-kamu lah yang memberikan saya support jauh sebelum media-media lain memberitakan apapun mengenai saya. Iya kan?

Begini caranya. Saya sudah mencetak buku berisi 40 foto saya ekslusif untuk kamu-kamu saja. Buku ini tidak dijual dimanapun kecuali melalui blog ini. Dan foto-foto inipun bukan hanya yang ditampilkan di pameran, bahkan ada beberapa yang tidak ditampilkan di sana.

Oh ya, buku ini juga dicetak sangat terbatas dan tidak akan pernah ada cetakan baru. Jadi kamu-kamu yang membeli memang benar-benar memiliki sesuatu yang sangat ekslusif.

Bukan hanya buku yang kamu dapatkan tapi dua hal lagi. Yang pertama, semua buku ada tanda tangan saya (bukan cetakan lho:). Yang kedua, didalam buku ini saya akan tulis tempat, alamat dan jam dimana saya akan adakan pertemuan rahasia dengan kamu-kamu itu tanpa ada media atau orang lain yang tidak pernah membaca blog ini. Kalau sampai ada media, ya berarti salah satu yang membeli adalah anggota media... nggak tanggung deh kalau itu terjadi :)

Anyway, tawaran untuk membeli buku ini hanya sampai hari Sabtu tanggal 22 April 2006, jam 5 sore. Bersamaan dengan pameran dimulai. Setelah itu, buku ini tidak akan pernah dijual lagi. Oh iya, kalau sudah habis, berarti sudah tidak bisa dibeli lagi ya.

Interested? Ok begini cara membelinya:

Kirimkan Rp. 199.000 ditambah ongkos kirim Rp. 19.500. Ke:

Bharata K
BCA KCP Matraman
No: 342 250 1433

Lalu kamu fax bukti transfer, alamat dan nomer telpon ke 021 829-8284. Oh iya, kalau mau email saya juga di tiaralestar@yahoo.com untuk konfirmasi atau ngirim bukti transfer yang di scan juga boleh.

Semua buku akan ada di tangan kamu-kamu dalam hitungan hari. Ok?

Cepat ya.. buku ini terbatas loh

Tiara

PS: Masih kurang juga? Gini deh.. untuk kamu-kamu yang mengorder buku ini sebelum hari Rabu tanggal 19 April 2006. Saya akan memberikan secara cuma-cuma (gratis bahasa pasarnya:) sebuah CD yang berisi 24 menit behind the scene photo shoot saya dan juga cerita hidup saya yang juga tidak dapat dibeli dimana2 termasuk di tempat CD bajakan. hahaha

PS: Kamu-kamu yang nanya kok mahal amat sih bukunya? Kan saya harus menyiapkan makan untuk ketemuan kamu-kamu.. masa kita ketemuannya di roti bakar edi sih :)

Super Show.. Super nervous!!

2006-04-16T07:26:00.000-07:00

Ada yang bilang ke saya bahwa dua guru terbaik adalah pengalaman dan kesalahan. Well, kamu-kamu tahu lah, saya pernah salah melangkah, terutama yang hubungannya dengan ibu saya. Tapi bukan itu yang saya ingin bicarakan malam ini.

Saya baru pulang dari Super Show yang di tayangkan live dari trans TV. Aduh ampun, ternyata dua stasion TV, dua acara yang berbeda, belum tentu sama. Terus terang dengan Metro TV, banyak persiapan, dan banyak hal-hal yang membuat saya tenang. Tapi Super Show...wow.. it is a different animal! Pertama, itu kan live show.. jadi langsung ditayang. Kedua, itu adalah variety show yang hiruk pikuk dan rame banget sama orang-orang yang terlibat di show itu.

Apapun juga, malam ini saya sangat nerveous waktu memulai segment talk shownya. Saya sendiri bingung karena waktu di Kick Andy kemarin kan lamanya sejam.. ini cuman 10 menit. Tapi aduh saya tuh nerveous banget malam ini.

Saya nggak tahu hasilnya seperti apa karena saya langsung pulang dan menulis posting ini. Tapi saya yakin sekali jawaban-jawaban saya banyak yang terpengaruh dengan kondisi nerveousnya saya itu.

Ya memang.. kesalahan dan pengalaman adalah guru terbaik. Saya belajar banyak malam ini...

Good night.

Tiara

Trans TV Super Show.. here I come

2006-04-15T06:25:00.000-07:00

Wah ternyata dalam seminggu saya harus menghadapi kamera TV dua kali nih :) Managemenku baru aja bilang bahwa saya akan menjadi bintang tamu di SUPER SHOW nya Trans TV, Hari Minggu, tanggal 16 April, kalau nggak salah sih jam 8 malam. Nonton ya!

Sekali lagi, saya sangat berterima kasih sama semua yang sudah ngasih komen dan support untuk saya. Tulisan kamu-kamu bener-bener berarti untuk saya. I am very much touch by all of you.

Special mention for Xienxien/ Cecillia for being the most active commentator the past few days.. I love you too girl! By the way, don't worry with all the negative comments. They don't bother me at all. Let them say what they want to say and we'll just stay positive ok?

Tiara

PS: Mas Ivan Lesmana, thank you fotonya.. cool banget deh.

Kepulangan saya... suatu kebodohan?

2006-04-13T06:39:00.000-07:00

My apology to my English speaking Blogger Friends as tonight's posting will be in my mother language- bahasa Indonesia. However, due to so many requests, I have put together a translation here (thanks for doing it first Cecillia:).

Tenyata ngomong di depan kamera TV itu aneh. Terus terang memang ini kan pertama kalinya saya berbicara di depan kamera TV. Mungkin yang bikin risih lampunya itu loh.. terang banget :) Tapi untungnya tim dari Metro TV itu baik-baik sekali sama pemula saperti saya ini. Thank you banget kepada tim Kick Andy yang sudah sabar sama saya. Malam ini benar-benar pengalaman yang tidak akan terlupakan seumur hidup saya. The beginning of my TV career. Maybe.

Sejak taping tadi malam saya hanya bisa berpikir mengenai satu hal; perdebatan keras yang terjadi antara orang-orang disekitar saya. Mereka seperti terbelah di dua kubu. Yang satu berpendapat bahwa kepulangan saya ke Indonesia adalah suatu kebodohan. Kubu kedua mengatakan bahwa tidak ada yang lebih penting dari membahagiakan orang tua, apalagi ibu kita sendiri.

Teman-teman saya baik di Indonesia atau di luar yang merasa Playboy adalah suatu kebanggaan dalam karir seorang model, bilang bahwa saya ini sangat bodoh pulang ke Indonesia.

Kata Tina temanku di Solo,"Kamu pulang itu bukan hanya sesuatu yang bodoh secara finansial tapi lebih dari itu. Akan banyak orang yang mencaci kamu disini walaupun kamu sudah berubah. Coba deh kamu pikir, disini dicaci maki, di luar dianggap berprestasi.. bikin uang lagi! Aku nggak setuju kamu pulang!" Apakah Tina benar?

Berbeda lagi dengan Eka teman dekatku yang baru ketemu lagi tadi malam setelah beberapa tahun lamanya. Eka adalah teman dekatku yang sebentar lagi akan menjadi istri seseorang. Dia bilang,"Tiara, apalagi sih yang penting di hidup selain mencoba menjadi seseorang yang lebih baik? Kalau niat kamu baik, apapun juga akan lebih mudah untuk dihadapi. Aku ingin menikah untuk lebih baik dalam hidup ini dan kamu ingin pulang dengan niat membahagiakan hidupmu dan keluargamu. Itu suatu yang sangat mulia. Semoga kepulangan kamu membawa berkah ya." Mungkinkah Eka yang benar?

Saya memang memiliki jawaban sendiri yang berakhir dengan keputusan untuk kembali ke Indonesia. Saya hanya ingin tanya kamu-kamu yang membaca ini..

Apakah kepulangan saya suatu kebodohan atau sesuatu kebaikan?

Tiara

ps: terima kasih banyak buat Mbah Julianto Soeroso untuk foto-fotonya ya

Hi Mom! I am on TV

2006-04-11T09:56:00.000-07:00

On Thursday, April 13 at 10.30 PM (WIB), all your question whether this blog is fake or not will be answered. That is if you watch Metro TV's Kick Andy. I will be there answering questions for one whole hour. I am sorry boys and girls, this one is only for those who live in Indonesia :(

This is the first for me. The first time I will appear on TV. Anywhere. I've been on photoshoots all over the world, but I just don't believe they prepared me for what I am about to do. Heck, my friends know I don't mind talking over a cup of coffee but I must say I am a bit nervous about this interview. Not about the subject or the questions, but simply about being on TV.

Like riding bike for the first time or maybe swimming (for those who can:), the first time is always nerve wrecking. Right? I suppose it is no different with this experience.

However, just like riding a bike, once you've done it, it's all just a breeze from there. I hope this fact hold true with my TV experience as well. Am I ready? Yes. Will I look good? Will I sound good? Maybe. I do know I will do my best and I will have fun along the way.

I am looking at this interview as my opportunity to tell my side of the story. As simple as that. Why am I here and not out there continuing my Playboy career? Why do I leave all that behind and for what? Why did I say yes in the first place? Why do I have this blog? Why? Why? Why? You'll have the answers on Thursday.

I have been warned that Andy Noya will ask me tough questions. I will be there, smiling and answering every single one of them. To the best of my ability.

Make sure you see it.

Tiara

Special note to my new friends from www.geenstijl.nl

2006-04-08T04:21:00.000-07:00

Hello mensen van www.geenstijl.nl! Hier ben ik benieuwd waarom plotseling mijn bezoekersaantallen als nooit voorheen springen. Nu weet ik wie verantwoordelijk is. Dank u en heet welkom. Komen terug, maar gelieve in het Engels te schrijven zodat weet ik wat u schrijft.

Tiara
PS:Tecnhonolgy is so cool, I wrote the above paragraph using altavista's babel fish!

Flu and Playboy

2006-04-07T09:38:00.000-07:00

I haven't been feeling well this past few days. No don't worry.. I think this one is just simple case of the flu. More importantly, I am listening to my body this time by resting all day today and most of the day yesterday. What a bad timing.

Apparently the Indonesian version of Playboy went on the market yesterday and my managers were getting phone calls from virtually every TV station in the country all day long . You see they know I'm in Jakarta and they all wanted to interview me regarding the newly released Playboy Indonesia.

Picture this... I was in bed getting traditional massage (we call it "diurut" in Indonesia) and my manager kept calling me asking me if I wanted to do the interview with this TV and that TV, this radio and that radio bla bla bla. Honestly, I know I should say yes, but then again, my head felt like a ton of bricks and the flu medicine makes me very sleepy. So regrettably, I told him no. The last call he made to me was around 4.30pm requesting me to said yes to a five minutes phone interview with TV station 5 o'clock news (He said the producer will buy me flu medicine:). Before I could say no, my manager actually stopped himself and said," You sound horrible. Go back to sleep". So I did.

Well on playboy Indonesia , I have said what I need it to say here. Perhaps since now they are out in the market, I should stress one of my points : if you don't like playboy in Indonesia, don't banned them. Lets win this on the merit of the idea itself and with your wallet. If you don't like them, don't buy it. Until they convinced me they are worth my Rp.40.000, I wont either.

Have a great weekend!!

Tiara

humbled and blessed

2006-04-04T00:03:00.000-07:00

Hello Everyone!

I am back. And I am sorry for being gone so long. My management, under my strong protest, cuts down my activities to bare minimum which include my commiting to stop reading and writing this blog (since I do have tendency to stay in front of the computer for a long time:). I know they meant well, so I agreed.

Hence, I practically have not read this blog for over three weeks and I am trully humbled and touched by all your comments wishing me well. I also thank you for the hundreds of emails I've received as well!

I learned two things during my "resting period". First, even though I don't feel sick, I should listen to my body better. Warning signs were all over the place before my "crash and burn". Second, I learned that when I am sick, I didn't just ruin my own personal life, but also people around me who worked so hard for my sucess. Yes, that include all of you who were dissapointed that we postponed my exhibition in Bali. For that I am sorry and I promise I will do better. (Doc.. are you reading this? I am going to listen to you from now on :)

Going back to all of you who are kind enough to wish me well via comments and emails, I am still in awe of the kind of positive energy you guys are sending me. I believe in that. When I started this blog, I couldn't have imagined that we would turned out to become a small and caring community like this. I may not know many of you personally, but I think this episode have convinced me that all of you are my family on the net :) For that, again, I am humbled, touched and feel blessed.

So now, please wait here, come back often, because I have to make it up to each and everyone of you. I am back, alive and kicking. I am excited to enter a new phase in my career. A new phase with you next to me. Even those who call me names and hoped that God would curse me. Even them.

I am here to stay for as long as you are still reading this blog and -soon- watch TV in Indonesia ;)

Tiara

PS: Being away from this blog makes me feel a bit creative. How do you guys like the new look of the blog?

Crash and burn

2006-03-06T05:00:00.000-08:00

I guess my body has a limit too. That is what I've learned...the hard way. Yesterday, after only sleeping for a couple of hours and getting ready to head back to Jakarta after a long photo shoot, suddenly I felt like my head was being crushed by a giant rock and my stomach turns inside out. It was so painful that I rushed to the hospital. I hate being in a hospital, so for me to run there myself, I assure you that the pain was not something I've felt before.

They kept me overnight with a verdict that sounds so damn Hollywood: exhaustion and dehydration! What the heck is that mean anyway?? I don't know but the doctors told me that I needed to -as he said- "drastically reduced my activities for the next two weeks". Actually he said three weeks and a total bed rest but I was not going to take that without fighting :) He finally caved in and said I don't have to be in bed but I have to promise to take it easy for a while.

I hate this. The exhibition in Bali this week was going to be a giant step for me. My management decided to postpone the exhibition with my strong protest. I was arguing so much even though I finally realized that they meant well. They were concern about my health and apparently.. so should I.

I don't listen to my body. Since the first of the year, I flew back and forth between Jakarta and Singapore both with schedules that can makes any overweight dude becomes skinny. Let alone me. Apparently, I am physically exhausted and my body gave a strong and painful warning on Sunday. So.. okay.. I'll listen.

I am disappointed though. I felt as a professional, one should never ever break commitments. Especially not something this major. I want to apologize to some of you who have made plans to see me in Bali. I promise you one thing.. I will rest.. rest... and be back better than ever.

This event has been planned by a lot of people, and I have disappointed all of them. Again, for that I am really sorry.

Now I have to go, cause if this posting becomes to long, lots of people will be calling me and telling me that I should be in bed sleeping instead of typing on the computer.

Tiara

Come join me on Bali Island

2006-02-17T21:57:00.000-08:00

Modeling has brought me both joy and pain. It has introduced me to people and places around the globe that at the moment I felt I was still just day dreaming. Modeling also has taken me away.. far far away from the home that I love. I may be living in Singapore, but my home is –and always be- Indonesia. I miss my home, but mostly, I miss my family.

As a girl from a small town in Solo ,Indonesia, I think I am doing more than just okay in my career as a model. Well, not so in my own country. Over there, I am just a flash of names from headlines of yesterday. I am known more as a controversy rather than a model.

That will change on March 12, 2006 in the island of Bali. On that day, I will launch my career in Indonesia with a project so exciting, rewarding yet accompanied by so many potential negative consequences for me. At Grand Mirage hotel located in Benoa, Bali, 20 minutes from the Airport, I will be having -what my manager called - the most daring one model photo exhibition in Indonesian modeling industry entitled “from SENSUAL to ELEGANCE.”

This is not your grandmother’s photo exhibition. First, it will begin at 7pm and ends when the sun comes up. Second, there will be music, cool lounge by the beach and –certainly- the sound of Bali waves accompanying my pictures. It will be soo cool!

But you’re nuts if you think I am not nervous about this event. This is after all, my first time to launch something of this magnitude in Indonesia. Second, I honestly do not know how my countrymen would take me. Will they accept me as a model who is trying to be a better person? Or will they reject me as the queen of immorality trying to come back to country she doesn’t belong?

I don’t know. I do know two things. One, I am going to do it and with the grace of the Almighty, I will be just fine. Two, I want you there. I want you all there with me. So, would you come, please? I will certainly be there…

Tiara

PS: My management beg me to write the following; Those of you individuals or companies who want to sponsor this event, you still can. Click here.

I missed it!!

2006-02-15T00:01:00.000-08:00

There I was preparing to celebrate the 100K visitor. I was thinking of something smart and original to say.. something very difficult to do for me these days. Then the magic call came from my manager," Tiara," he said, "get ready, you're gonna have a very busy week." I am a pro.. or at least, I am supposed to be one anyway. So I calmly look at my schedule and started to get ready and off we went. Sure enough... all these busy schedule occurred when my 100K visitor actually hit.

So I missed it... my 100k day was just another day in the "office". I woke up, looked at my blog, and it was well passed 100K. Oh well :)

On a serious note, I want to once again thank all of you guys. For being here with me, for saying things to me and to others on my blog. This was my house, but I would like to think of this blog as OUR HOUSE now. Without being overly sentimental about the whole thing.. I do want to say that it means a lot to me that you all are here with me.

Throughout the life of this blog, I always tried to do a couple of things. The first is being as honest as humanly possible. My boyfriend always told me he felt that I bare my soul too much on this blog. I tried. And I hope you can understand that sometimes it is very very hard, especially when I wrote something so personal. It is hard and yet, I felt I do not do you or me justice if I don't at least try to be as honest as I can be. With the exception of a few bad apples, I realize that most of you that come here to get to know me better. So my friends, I promise you that I will try my hardest to remain honest, open, and to continue to write without personal boundaries.

Second, as ugly some of the comments made on this blog, I tried my best not to delete them. I have done it twice. Once was a guy who tried to promote websites to "buy" Indonesian models. No discussion there. Second was those ugly comments made using my name. Aside from these two, I have never ever deleted any comments. When you see "comments deleted by author", that means the writer of the comment deleted his or her comment, not me.

I strongly believe this blog should be a place where battle of ideas is fought so bravely by heroes and zeros alike. Where those who want to hug me digitally mingle with those who want to spit at my face. I am here, with my clothes on and my brain naked to the world. Get used to it. I welcome you even if you think I am the ultimate whore that has sold my soul to the devil. Say what you want to say on the comments box, and I will be hearing, reading, considering, and -at times- responding to you.

This experience of having a blog has been an interesting one. It is a learning experience that I would like to share with others like me. Others who are currently and in the future would like to make a living with their pretty faces. Yes, for you other models.. join me and start to write on my new blog. I have created this new blog for other models so they can start experiencing what I have experienced the last few months.

If you are a model who would like to be known for more than just your pretty faces, this new blog is for you.

For everyone else who have been here, communicating, flattering, insulting or talking to me on this blog, once again, thank you for being here. Welcome to our house.

Tiara

99,833.. count down to 100,000 unique visitors

2006-02-09T22:28:00.000-08:00

Well, I guess that sort of "magic moment" for any blogger is almost here for me. They are saying to me that 100k unique visitors means something for a blogger.. that I should celebrate... that I am now this big-bad-a%$ blogger now. That I am this.. and that.. and this....

Will I wake up feeling any differently tomorrow? Probably not :)

I will feel grateful that you have visited me though. That one is for sure. Thanks.. and I do mean thank you everyone who have visited me..

Tiara

PS: Remember I post this 97,057 unique visitors ago?

100,000 visitors.. almost

2006-02-01T05:58:00.000-08:00

Hi Bloggers and others!

I just realize just now that the visitors counter on the bottom of my blog is showing the number 94,473. Being originally from Indonesia, and having majority of my blog visitors coming from Indonesia, I have been told that the number 100,000 visitors mean something over there. What is it mean? I don't know.

What do you bloggers think about that? Tell me...

Tiara

Playboy in Indonesia?

2006-01-24T22:00:00.000-08:00

I appeared on the cover of Playboy, Spain edition last August. I think everyone and their mothers know about that if you live in Indonesia. Lets just get that fact out in the open. Now, I have this blog for a reason and one of them is to be a medium for my voice for matters that concern me most. This is one of those moments.

I have been asked by a large number of Indonesian media about two things:
1. How do you feel about Playboy being published in Indonesia?
2. How do you feel about potentially appearing as the first cover of Playboy Indonesia?

I respect Playboy as an internationally known publication. Everyone from legendary Marilyn Monroe to Pamela Anderson to Madonna to Cindy Crawford have benefited from their professional relationships with the magazine. I have made a personal decision as a model to also follow that route last year. This decision certainly wasn't popular in my own country. Heck, it was a huge disappointment for my parents too. I regret that part of it. For that, I am sorry.

For my parents who I love very much, and for them alone, I have made another personal decision to not pursue that line of work anymore. Being on the cover of Playboy can be considered peak of any model's career. As they say, "Been there done that."

However, I was aware of one thing; I appeared in a country that does not consider Playboy and nudity as taboo. My appearance was never intended for consumption of Indonesia. How many Indonesians do you now read Playboy Spain? My pictures circulating on the internet happened without my being consulted. I do not have rights to those pictures. Not offending my countrymen was one of the criteria of my decision making process in appearing in Playboy Spain.

So now we are going to have Playboy Indonesia. It's hard to imagine a magazine with a very specific and uncompromising character published in a country where the same character is considered taboo. Why I ask? I am just a model, but when people ask my personal opinion about Playboy Indonesia, that would be my short answer. I mean really, what kind of content adjustment do they need to make so Playboy can be accepted by Indonesians? That is like asking TIME magazine to only do gossip or Hollywood celebrities news. Not gonna happen.

If you were to put gado-gado in McDonald, they would probably call it Mac-Gado-gado. Whatever content adjustment that is planned for Playboy Indonesia, it is still Playboy magazine. Period.

Should Indonesian Government stop Playboy from appearing? No. Especially if Playboy Indonesia already have legal documents to publish the mag. Should Indonesians who are unhappy with having Playboy in Indonesia voice their opinions? Absolutely. I am proud the fact that Indonesia, in many cases, can be considered more democratic than even the US. Heck, we vote our President directly, Americans do not. So let us debate without hurting each other. Be angry using our voice instead of our fists. You don't like Playboy in Indonesia, speak with your wallet. Don't buy it.

So, should Playboy be in Indonesia? In my personal opinion, I do not believe they should until TIME magazine started to write about Hollywood celebrities only :)

How do I feel about potentially being on the first cover of Playboy Indonesia? Just like my pictures circulating on the Internet... not much I can do about it. I do not have rights of my old pictures, so they can requests those pictures without my approval. If Playboy Indonesia ask me to be on the first cover, I will humbly decline such request.

There ya go.. my personal opinion.

Tiara

PS: Teman-teman press Indonesia, untuk tambahan, bisa dilihat disini.

Outfit casualties

2006-01-19T23:09:00.000-08:00

Back in my comfortable sofa at my home in Singapore, I was sitting this morning pondering my two weeks in Bali. It was a great time and I am so happy with my new all-Indonesian team. We worked well together, had great chemistry and –for the first time in a long time- I really miss being home. Indonesia, I mean.

Behind the scenes, lots of things happened during the week long photo shoot; funny things, creepy things, annoying things, etc…etc…

For the photo shoot, we were lucky enough to have great designers lend us their best dresses. Special thanks to Mas Arifan Mas, Rere Kribo and great bikinis from Nico Nico Intimo. But, as normal condition of borrowing anything, the designers expect the outfits come back to them in one piece. MJ, my fashion specialist was the man who let me know every second about these conditions. I call him Mr. Don’t. He always said to me, “Tiara, Don’t let the dress be dirty, don’t touch the ground, don’t this.. don’t that.. don’t don’t don’t”. It’s his job and honestly I lost count how many “don’t” he said during the whole week.

When the camera is on I tend to focus on being someone else to get the “feel” out. The last thing on my mind is not to ruin the dress. The photographer’s direction is the only thing I focused on, aside from my own wondering mind. So outfit casualties started to happened.. a lot. One time, I let the long gown fell into the muddy ground. MJ was upset.. he gave me that “look”. I tried to remember during most of the session, but it was difficult to remember and It happened more than once. Sorry MJ. I promised him I’d do better next time.

The next photo session was bikinis and I promise myself I was going to be more aware with “guarding” the outfit. Sure enough, we were on this beautiful beach that had been covered with rain moments earlier. The sands were wet everywhere! Why make it easy for me! Hahaha.

The photographer started to direct me from standing pose to crawling pose on the ground. Gosh, it was kind of hard to crawl over the sands and focusing on my bikinis not touch by the sand! I was so focused on making sure that my bikini was not touching the sand, but the photographer kept directing me to pose lower, lower and lower without touching the ground. Man what is this?! Yoga?!

This time I gave MJ the “look” in between the photographer’s directing me to be completely down on the ground. He closes his eyes and turned away… I took that as a sign and began laying down on the ground focusing only to the camera. Click! Click! Click!

I lost the war with heavy outfit casualties..

Tiara

PS: To Mas Arifan, Rere and Nico.. thank you for supporting me and I hope the outfits are back into your hands nice and clean :)

2006-01-10T10:28:00.000-08:00

A piece of what again? :)

2006-01-10T10:25:00.000-08:00

Rainy hell?

A day of hell and heaven...

2006-01-09T01:11:00.000-08:00

All of us woke up this morning all excited for the first day of our photo shoot. We hit the road early at 7am to go from our villa at seminyak area in Bali to the beach called padang padang which was about a two our drive. The place was ideal for photo shoot due to the natural coral rock formation surounding the beach.

From the edge of the cliff, we had to take a 15 minutes walk down a very sharp and narrow path where a rock formation creates what appear to be a cave under the ocean. Have you ever tried walking bare foot on the coral-reef? Let me tell you something, it hurts! As much as I want to complain, I don't think a bikini shot looks that good with my nike runing shoes.

The photographer took his time to make sure everything from the lights to color and composison was all perfect. Everything was set and click! click! the action started. Before the third click hapen, the rare yet mighty bali rain poured down on us so hard that we had to run into the cave for protection. That was a mistake. In less than two minutes, the ocean also wanted to fill up the cave with such force that we had to run out of the cave and into the rain to avoid what I would called a baby tsunami.

To make a long story short, the rain lasted for over two hours and all we could do just wait. By the time the sky cleared up, it was too late in the afternoon to continue the shoot in this location. We were supposed to take pictures at two diffrent locations and we got nothing. My management decided to go to the third location before it got dark.

With the exception of little annoying musquitos that keep biting my leggs, Garuda Wisnu Kencana or better known as GWK was a perfect location for the afternoon. We were racing against time and succesfully shot hundreds of pictures of me using three different outfits before the sun finally set.

To make up for the lost of time, the team decided to continue with indoor shoot back at the villa that lasted till 3 am! Talk about making up for lost time eh! At the end of the session, my manager Ragesh said to me, "Tiara, I thought we were in rainy hell this morning, but looking at these pictures, I think we got a piece of heaven."

Amin.

Tiara

New Year, new team

2006-01-07T20:37:00.000-08:00

My holiday in Bali is almost over; one more day to be exact. Yet, unlike other holidays in the past, I am actually very excited to end this one. Why? Because this week I will be working in Bali with my new All-Indonesian team. This is very exciting and very new to me.

You’ve heard the phrase,”there’s no place like home”. I am about to experience that professionally. I have been away from home for a while now. I haven’t really done much work in my own country of Indonesia. I made a decision to change that this year. While I am still going to be based in Singapore, professionally I am coming home this year.

First, I needed an Indonesian management that will understand my objective and can take me to new and exciting level of growth. So late last year, I signed an exclusive deal with a small yet dynamic artist management company in Indonesia called Kain Entertainment (Kain@cbn.net.id). They did not disappoint me. Within two weeks of signing me they have successfully assembled a very capable team for this photo shoot in Bali. In addition, they have signed a deal to put together a film regarding this photo shoot covering all behind the scene activities during the week long shoot.

Did I mention the photographer they got for the shoot? I have seen his body of work and I have strong sense that I will be experiencing something new in this photo shoot. His name is Ayang Kalake and, while he is not the most famous photographer in country, he certainly has produced some of the most unique body of work around. He is very intuitive as a photographer and has a strong conceptual approach to his work. I am certain that I will not be disappointed.

So, one last day being a lazy bum. And tonight I will be going to the airport to pick up a 12 people crew to get ready for the most exciting photo shoot of my career with my new All-Indonesian team.

New year with a new team Tiara. I can’t wait!

Tiara

Kuta beach and wasting time

2006-01-03T07:45:00.000-08:00

Sometimes people forget the beauty of a holiday is in the simple fact that we can just do absolutely nothing. Lets face it, most of us always plan our days… meetings, deadlines, clients. For me, I have photo shoots, I have to meet designers, I have to meet my management, I have to write this blog, I have to do this, I have to do that ..bla..bla..bla..

Well, I woke up this morning ..ehm..sorry, I meant this afternoon thinking one thought: “What do I have to do today?”. You see my body may already be in Bali, but my brain hasn’t really caught up yet. I still think of things I have to do. It took another hour and the sound of the nice Balinese staff delivering breakfast in the afternoon to really wake me up to the fact that today is the 1st of January and I am in the greatest vacation spot on earth!

So I ate my afternoon breakfast, put my best bikini on, covered with an oversize t-shirt with a little Balinese sarong and started to walk outside. I just walked with my girlfriend without having a destination in mind. How wonderful is that? J

We decided to go to Kuta beach. At first I hesitated since the sun seemed to be hiding this afternoon. But the sun never failed me in Bali before, so I just hold on to my faith and went to the beautiful and very crowded Kuta Beach.

And it sure was crowded. For those of you who have been to Kuta beach, I think you know what I am talking about. It is far from the exclusive beach ala Ritz Carlton in Jimbaran, Bali. This is the kind of beach where everyone goes there. The crowd, the sellers of sun glasses, street vendors, the semi nudes tourists all fused into a single unit screaming at me saying “you are here at Kuta beach!”. Loud and clear. And I got it.

I understand the appeal of this little beach. It is a melting pot of people and their various intentions that truly makes Kuta beach what it is. No snob can last being here more than five seconds. If you want to sit peacefully, soaked the sun and not be bothered, this beach is not for you. The moment you find your chair, they came to you with their trademark smiles… the vendors offering you sunglasses, fruits, Balinese sarong and everything else under the sun. Being able to smile back and say “no” is a required skill to be on this beach. That is until someone comes by and offer you something you can’t refuse.

For me, my moment of weakness came in a form of an old lady offering the best beach massage for US$3! I could not say no to her. I was in massage heaven for an hour. During the massage, I learn a view things about her. I always knew that one can’t be in Bali without being intoxicated by the niceness of these people. I mean common.. the woman was giving me a massage with all her might for almost an hour and I gave her $3bucks ! She was so nice and enthusiastic makes me feel kind of bad. Until I realize that it was wrong to feel that way. She is doing her job with the kind of pride even Bill Gates would envy. This is a path that she chose to take and she is doing this to the level of subjective perfection she can actually attained.. I am a proud to be her client. It doesn’t hurt that she is actually very good at what she does.

I don’t how long I fell asleep after the massage. I was awaken by the sound of children playing around me, I look up and there it was.. the most beautiful sunset these eyes have ever seen. I really look at the sun. I mean really look at it.. perhaps searching for meaning of life and all the deep thoughts a human can have.

Not really… I am just trying to wake up after wasting my entire day doing absolutely nothing. Wasting? Naah..Today is the first day of 2006. I just thank God for the life I have, the family who love me, and the love I can’t explain with reason or logic. Oh, and I am thankful for the lady who just gave me a massage just now. Thank you.

Now back to sleep…

Tiara

The good, bad, ugly and the island Gods

2006-01-01T08:09:00.000-08:00

As I step out of the plane at 9.00am Bali Time, December 31st 2005, I realize something good... maybe even something great about this place. The Bali sun embraces you with the warmth of a thousand Gods. You almost don't have to see the hundred of temples built a thousand years ago to know why this place is called the island of Gods. You just know the moment you breath the air out here. The moment you feel the sun gently touches your skin.. especially after spending a couple days in a place like Jakarta where you don't know of you are breathing O2 or CO2. A couple of days in Jakarta is enough for me. Being here, not a hundred meters from the plane, I know one hundred days may not be enough.

As I get into the car with my favorite Balinese driver, Mr. Wayan Bandem, I immediately noticed something bad is going on in Bali. It is too quiet and it is entirely too empty for being December 31st. At first I thought.. well.. It is 9 am after all. It may be too early for people to get up after being too drunk last night. But at 12.30 pm as I was on my way out to lunch with some friends, it is still the same. Empty. This is bad.

Where are all those people who usually flock the market, the stores and the main roads like Legian and Kuta. Where are these people?

In the evening, I went and had a romantic dinner with my boyfriend before meeting up with my cousins and friends later. We had dinner in an Italian restaurant called Fabio. It is a lovely restaurant with great atmosphere not to mentioned great food. Yet once more I am stunned with how empty the place was. I can literary count with my hands how many people enjoying new year's eve dinner there. This is bad.

We left the place around 11.00 to catch up with my cousins and friends to a place called Buddha Belly. The road on the way there was usually pretty dense especially this close to midnight. Well not tonite. We arrived at Buddha Belly in no time.

This place is new. It is a great place with very cool design. The reason we went there was the fact that my cousin's boyfriend was the DJ for the nite. There weren't really that many people there. It is more than enough to have a lot of fun though. And it was fun. I had a blast there. It certainly feels like we were having a small private party in a really big place.

Even though I had fun, I wish there are more people. Not necessarily for me.. but I am getting a bit concern with my brothers and sisters who live and work in Bali. I have spent new years in Bali before and I don't remember ever being this empty. I am sad to see this fact. I think this is beyond bad. It is ugly.

You see, Bali is a great place with nice, friendly people in every corner of the island. They don't deserve this.

I can't help but noticed that there weren't many people from Europe or North America the way it used to be. If you are reading this and you are from those regions of the world... I have a message for you: Screw your government's Travel Warning and come here. Get yourself a ticket and fly here where the smile of a thousand Gods awaits you. Call me simple minded, but there is no war happening here. It was an act of a few people stupid enough to ruin an entire population. Besides, haven't you heard the saying "Lighting don't strike twice in the same place"?

I am simply saying that Bali is not like any other place in the world. And if you're not here.. you are missing out. Period. These people here deserve to have their livelihood back to where it was before the stupid bombs. And you, my European and American friends, deserve to be here. A place where a thousand year old temple exists happily side by side with fast food restaurants and the first Hard Rock hotel in the world. Where pop culture meets old culture with such ease that they do actually live happily ever after.

Most people in Bali are Hindus. It is my understanding that in Hinduism there is God whose sole job is to guard specific parts of nature. Whether it is rain, or sun or life itself. I am here in Bali enjoying every minute of my time here. I pray that their Gods and my God protects this island and its people. I also pray that the same Gods opens the eyes of the world that Bali is still one of a kind in the world and everyone should be here. At least once in their life. Trust me.

Happy New Year 2006!

Tiara

Trust & The Golden Rule

2005-12-02T08:11:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone. I'm back.

I'm really sorry for the lack of posting last month. I am truly sorry but hope that you'd understand once you finish reading this post.

Writing this post is one of the hardest things I have ever done since I started this blog. It took me so long just to finish one paragraph. Look... I've been having personal issues that I know most of you have gone through and it is never easy. Yes, it's an issue with my relationship.

Relationship is hard. Do you remember how you were first felt the attraction with your partner? Do you remember that moment? First you were attracted to a person, you spent time with him, and things were wonderful, but at some point, it's just like breathing....routine, and you don't think about it. At times, you don't even appreciate it.

I don't know how it started, all I know that it got worst... fast. And instead of dealing with the problem, I chose another path. I took a path which to some people would be considered breaking my commitment as a girlfriend.

To make a long story short, I came back and told my boyfriend what I did. I am certain that a lot of relationships would not survived this episode. What I have done is not something that most partner can easily accept. However, his reaction was not what I expected. Perhaps, he was also deeply aware of the problems we were having as a couple and we both chose different paths to make ourselves feel better. Wrong paths.

That night became the most insightful, honest and -at times- painful moment in our relationship. It was a moment when two people were caught at a crossroad. A moment where the affair of the hearts must be decided now or it would never see the light of day again. A decision was made and we did it together.

For me, that night was the beginning of a new relationship. A relationship which value honestly and respect for each other. We both are going to try to make this relationship work.

Relationship is hard enough even without any problem. You have to work on it and trust is a very important factor, if not the most important. In my relationship, I have broken his trust and now I have to earn back his trust. I know it's gonna take time. But I am going to do everything in my power to do just that because -in the end- I want this relationship to work.

I just finished reading a book from a relationship expert called A Relationship For A Lifetime by Kelly E. Johnson,M.D. He said the golden rule of a relationship is this:

If it works for only one of you, it won't work for your relationship.

I understand that now...

Tiara

Women, Literature, and Fiery Red Thongs

2005-11-09T18:41:00.000-08:00

By: Raya Fahreza

I''m sure that there's been numerous surveys and market research towards books which in the end suggests that women reads more than men. Girls read more than guys, right, no surprises there since us guys have always been generalized as the less sophisticated and less mature of the species. While the latter accusation is open for debate, I think it's true that at least women takes reading and literature more seriously than us Neanderthals. Here we're not just talking about Cosmo and its fabulous tips on low carbo diet, tae-bo and how to keep 'mr.happy' in a playful mood. And no, not just the chick-lit series with hip titles like Shopaholic or Fashionista. I'm talking literature, Kahlil Gibran and the likes, stuff like Kafka, you know, the kind of shit guys like me won't even begin to comprehend.

That's right. Women reads stuff. My 28 years old kid sister has never been seen without a book, seems like she can't live without one, it's like an addiction, a necessity. She reads so many books about so many serious and 'deep' subjects, from light literature, to poems, to chick-lit, to new age stuffs. Not only her, almost all my girl friends reads something. I suppose you guys notice this, right? There's no need for a survey data to tell us, heck, just take a look at the profiles at internet communities. Girls will list down the titles of the books they read while I can only say that I prefer magazines.

What tickles me is not the fact that I prefer practical and current information over other non-factual interesting reads, but it's the thing about poetry and stuff. I can understand artistic _expression, beautiful words just like a good lyric of a good song but some of this artsy stuff is getting to be more of a bunch of gibberish to me. It's like the writer's high on something and writes them down into supposedly beautiful, er, poem, or, prose, literature, whatever. And women, or at least women I know really digs this stuff! They really took them into heart. They seemed to get all emotional with them. Inspired, touched, enlightened, hell, a girl friend once told me that there's this one poem that can actually give her an orgasm! Wonder if she was really just reading at the time...

Obviously, this literature thingy begins to be as important for me. I want to be able to understand women. I want to be able to inspire women with my writings, to touch them emotionally by my words. I want to help women gain sexual satisfaction simply with a bunch of fancy words on a piece of paper! Such a mysterious super power! But hold up, apparently there are other stuff they really really like.

They are called self-help books. Before you guys start to scream and shout in joy of approval, these so called self-help books are not what you think. Yes, sports fans, they don't use these reading materials the way you guys use Playboy or Penthouse magazines and oh, please spare me the one about 'buying them for their interesting articles' especially if the damp stack of literature found in your toilets are magazines by the name of Hustler. Self-help books are supposedly light educational reading material aimed to help the reader achieve a target by providing useful tips, insights, and inspiring short stories that can motivate the reader.

Titles like, if I remember it correctly, "7 Habits of Highly Effective People", or "Who Moved My Cheese" spawned many spin-offs and variants. There's one huge franchise in the business category, started by this one titled "Rich Dad, Poor Dad". Now that one I think is actually good and it made sense but that's not the interesting thing about these self help books' content. What I really like to point out here is that most of the supposedly useful tips, tricks and insights are simple and known you'd-know-about-them-all-otherwise-you're-stupid common sense! These books are not telling us too many new things! It's downright silly if you need them. In fact, needing them would mean that you need a book to remind you –or even worse- let you know what is common sense!

Now back to women as the main topic, I also have met many women who really goes for this kind of stuff! They'd go into bookstores and really shop for these shit! I thought women had more common sense than us guys by default, why would you need so much of those? I believe that when we have reached a certain age and maturity, and at least a standard level of intellectuality, we already know pretty much all the right thing to do. We do not need to comprehend them further because they are simple logic, what we usually have trouble on is actually practicing them. But hey, for guys, if you think you're smart enough to get out of your cave and actually approach a female without your wooden hunting club, or namely to actually have intelligent conversation with the opposite of sex, then this is your chance. Ah hah! We have found a weakness in the oh-so-divine maturity and intellectuality of women!

Unfortunately, failed attempts by many of the male species to impress the female by means of verbal cerebral-based conversations just further proved the male are intellectually inferior. A logical self help tip here, guys, listen up morons, alcohol and nicotine does not make you smart! Make sure you know what you're doing before you try to talk and sound smart, read something beforehand, not so much, just be prepared.

Remember the old standards in high school. The cool guys and the jocks don't read as much as the geeks and the nerds? Those lettermen and cute boys usually are not as literate as the others but as for girls nowadays? Whoa! The same rule does not apply! Whether she's a sweater-and-cardigan-wearing-thick-eye glassed-desk jockey or a really really hot babe who struts around with low cuts, hipsters and fiery red thongs, she'll quickly name a couple of books upon questioning!

I don't really know if it's the universal standard or I just happen to be surrounded by these well-read women, but I think we men may have to read something more than automobile magazines, sports pages, and the comics. Then we really have to get our own stuff going on like those FHM or Ralph magazines, except in the form of books! Yes I can see it right now! The men's answer to Chick-lit! Thug-lit!

Yes! Thug-lit! and the tagline would say "Not Getting Laid And Happy!". We'll have titles like 'Shoplifting' or 'Autonista', and maybe for me, 'Weaponista'. We'll be just as sophisticated, but by our own rights! As for poetry and all that stuff, well, I think I speak for every men ot there that while we still prefer to try and give women sexual satisfaction the old fashioned way, we'd love to see you come to a poem every now and then...

And oh, as you can see I don't talk about thongs in this one, but it sounded nice for a title...

Slut, stud and MR. Publisher

2005-11-08T22:39:00.000-08:00

This morning in my hometown of Solo, I got an interesting phone call from my good friend in Jakarta. He met a friend who is a well known publisher of some magazines in Jakarta. Lets call him Mr. R.

I don't know how their conversation started, but it ended with Mr. R proud and boastful claimed that he had slept with me. "Twice!" Mr R. said to him.

I don't understand why it is so important for some of you men to declare who you have slept with? Is that part of your existence being a man? Being a big man? Isn't it enough for you to have your sexual fling with someone and enjoyed them without having to declare them to the world? It's certainly doesn't make your pen**s bigger does it Mr. R? Puzzling.

And there is this whole classic, yet proven double standard issue that bothers me. Let us supposed that I was the one who claim to my friend that I had slept with MR. R. I am sure not a single person would think of me as a "bigger-better woman". Would you? Matter of fact, it would be just the opposite. People would look down on me. Puzzling. Irritating.

Why is it when a man do it a lot (and "talk" it a lot), he is called a "stud", but when a woman do it a lot, she is called a "slut"?? Puzzling. Infuriating.

Do you know what's worst? I have never met Mr. R! Not once.

Mr. R, if you're reading this: I don't care who you are, I don't care how much money you have. If you have to claim that you've slept with me and never actually met me, you are not even in the same class I am. You are not even worth the piercing look I will give you if I ever see you. Look and enjoy my pictures in this blog or get more of them from the internet. That is as far as you will get with me. Better yet, write about your boastful claim in your magazine. You are a publisher right?? If you are going to make something up, why not write about it too. Keep dreaming.

For other men with money in their pocket. A little newsflash: Not all models are for "sale". I am not blind to what is going on in Jakarta. I know there are those "for sale" types crawling around pages of magazines in Jakarta. We are NOT ALL like that. I am not for sale. Don't even think of it.

I have appeared in an internationally known -and respected- magazines. Not your type of magazine Mr. R. Do not think for a second I am going to some hotel room with you anytime soon. I am a professional model. That is what I do. Enjoy the art. And if you think I am "easy", you are sadly mistaken. Annoyingly sad.

Tiara

Want to be my guest blogger?

2005-10-30T00:08:00.000-07:00

View Blog
Hi Bloggers and readers....

I am on my way home to Indonesia for Idul Fitri holiday. I honestly do not know how much time I have writing and posting for this blog. So I have this crazy idea of challenging all you bloggers out there to write for me. Yes, be my guest blogger!

Since I published this blog on September 27th, I found many bloggers who have written about me (Yes, this includes you indcoup:). I feel like I know you a personally since I have visited your blogs so many times. Hence the idea of inviting you to be my guest blogger. Now this challenge does not have to exclude those who do not have a blog. If you like to write, but do not blog, you can send me an email with your writing as well!

So here's the scoop. Write. About anything. Email them to me (Tiaralestar@yahoo.com) and I will post the one I like on my blog!

What do you get? Well I certainly can't pay you.. ha ha ha. But I can offer you this: I am offering me, myself and I, to be your guest blogger for a day! I am here assuming you have your own blog and you actually want me to write on your blog :)

I will be back in Singapore one week from Idul Fitri. I will read all your writing and post my favorite asap. Ok?

Tiara

PS:

Dengan segala kerendahan hati dan tulus ikhlas saya ucapkan:

Selamat Hari Raya Idul Fitri
1 Syawal 1426 H

Taqabbalallahu Minna Waminkum
Minal Aidin Wal Faidzin
Mohon Maaf Lahir dan Batin Atas Segala Kekhilafan

Semoga amal ibadah kita di bulan Ramadhan ini diterima Allah SWT dan kita selalu berada dalam lindungan-Nya. Amien.

In search of my soul (mate)...

2005-10-29T03:33:00.000-07:00

I received so many emails regarding the soulmate posting. One in particular is from a guy named Takeshi. Since there are some of you who still bent out of shape from that posting, I decided to post his email. I hope you -who are still bothered- can accept his email as a representation of my feelings about the issue. Trust me when I say I do have a strong feeling about the issue.

Honestly, this email is way too beautiful to be left in the private area of my yahoo inbox. Thank you Takeshi!

"Tiara,
In my opinion, you just have not met your soulmate yet. So the change in your heart is nothing strange to me.

There are some kind of words to express feelings between man and woman just like Love and Affection. In case of Japanese language, there are Ai and Koi. I think most of the people think the meaning is almost same or even have never paid attention. So I did. But a Japanese novelist once gave me a hint. After many years passed since that, now I almost understand what he ment. He wrote like this:

Koi (¢â Love) is a natural feeling that we want to be with the person, but Ai (¢â affection) is an intention to be with the person.

Koi has its own logic. Nobody can explain it by words or common sense. Just like you are at a loss how to express what happened in your heart now.

But Ai is an strong intention to be with the person, whatever happens. If somebody makes you feel like that, he is the soulmate to you, I think.

I believe that I could have had a soulmate. Hubungan kami sudah 6 tahun. To say the truth I sometimes feel boring to be with her, and sometimes I am fascinated by another girl. But still, I can find strong intention inside me to be with her, which I did not have when I was younger.
Saya sudah yakin bahwa saya tetap mau bersamanya, walaupun dia sudah jadi nenek......
I can confirm that this is not temporary feeling like Koi, but Ai.

So I believe that you will also meet a man that make you feel like that.
Until that time, you have only to be youreself.
Jalannya masih panjang deh.

Take care and don't brood over too much !

Takeshi"

There you go guys...

Tiara

Rhetorical value of nothing

2005-10-27T10:45:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the lack of updates the last few days guys. I have been very busy and if I want to be honest, I have been very lazy with writing as well :( Today, I finally had time to relax having some nice hot cappucino at my favorite place, Crossroad cafe just outside the Marriott hotel. Then it dawn on me... I haven't post anything for the past five days! Yikes! My mind went into overdrive and started to desperately search for ideas.

Findings ideas to write has always come very easy for me. Oh nooo not today. I got none. My first "writer's blog" ha ha ha.

I looked at the couple sitting next to me. They seemed to be in love. (Yawn) boring. Then there is this screaming kid two tables from me.. yeah.. I really want to write about that one (Sarcastic:). Finally I had an epiphany which came via two Indonesian guys sitting across from me. They were eating doughnuts. So I ask myself, "Why doughnut always have a hole in the middle of it?" Think about it. Do you have an answer to that question? I mean really.. "Who was the genius that decided to put a hole in the middle of a very good food??"

Then the question kept coming.. stupid ones.. and it is penetrating me like a thousand lighting bolts. "How do chair look like if knees bend the other way?"
"Why do we listen to sad song when we just got dumped and we're trying to feel better?" Speaking of broken heart... "Why do we cry when we are sad?"

"Why do we say 'God bless you' when someone sneezes"
"Why do we write from left to right? What do letters look like if we write from right to left?" "Who was the genius that designed the toilet seat to be so ugly? Why do we have to sit when we have to use the damn thing? Why?? Why?? Why???"

And then came the classic question.. "If a tree falls in the forrest and there is no one there to listen. Does it make a sound?" I do know the answer to this one.

Aaah.. the lack of ideas...

Tiara the philosopher

Mau telpon aku?

2005-10-23T02:48:00.000-07:00

My non-Indonesian friends.. sorry boys and girls.. this one is just for those in Indonesia :(

Kamu kamu yang di Indonesia sekarang bisa telpon aku. Bisa kasih pesan pribadi untuk aku dan aku akan check semua pesan sendiri dari Singapura. Teknologi emang luar biasa yah sekarang ini?

Cepet. Aku tunggu ya...
Tiara

Bare my soul(mate)

2005-10-19T23:25:00.000-07:00

We all agree that a soulmate is someone who was MEANT for you and MEANT to be with you.

Soulmate for me is a bestfriend above all else, someone who motivates you, makes you laugh easily, someone who listen patienly to what I have to say, someone who I can say anything to, someone who let me be a "monster" but will forgive me quickly when I apologize. Essentially, someone who will stand by you. We think alike, share the same interests and has common value. He makes a dramatic impact in my life(and I don't even rely it sometimes). He makes me to be a better person. He connects with me in a way that I can't explain... you know, we know what each other are thinking by just looking and smiling at each other. He always seem to always finish my sentences.

He completes me in way that when we are both together we are so much stronger as whole than when we are alone. And when we are away from each other I feel like a part of me is missing. We are comfortable together in silence. He would gladly put me and my needs ahead of his own. He has a deep desire to provide me with all that I am missing from my life.

Does the long description above enough for you guys? There is one man in my life that fit the above description. Is he my soulmate? Probably you would say yes. But let me point something to you.. I am not with him now. I have called one person a soulmate in my life and that is him. Yet, we're not together anymore. Whatever happened between us, he always hold a special place in my heart and I thank him. From the bottom of my soul, I thank him for the love he gave me and the friendship we had (have).

Let me ask you again. Is he my soulmate? Or do I need to define "soulmate" better?

Tiara

PS: Adi, Andre, Lucia, Farah.. one of you will have a chance to chat online one on one with me! Please email me why you should be the one I talk to.. Tiaralestar@yahoo.com.

Big hugs for bloggers

2005-10-16T03:18:00.000-07:00

While the "debate" over soulmate and passion is still going on, I'll go ahead give more time for you who still want to vote. By the way, soulmate question is now leading.

I wanted to use this posting to first and foremost thank all of you who visited this blog. I noticed that in the 20 days I published this blog, there have been over 25,000 visitors! I do not know most of you, but I thank you.

There is more, I found that some people in the blog world, started to write about me and my blog. This posting is dedicated for them. I don't know most of them, but their opinion -like so many others in blog world- matters. If nothing else, it matters to me. So, for you bloggers... I salute you..big hugs from me:

Hermawan Kartajaya
Firman Yursak
Omajon
Enda Nasution
Visual Gui
Jakartass

I am sure I miss some of you blogger. If you have written something about me on your blog, please feel free to send me an email and let me know. I certainly cannot forget to thank my favorite boys in Asian Siren.

25,000 thank yous and keep blogging!

Tiara

U want to know my passion? Or soulmate?

2005-10-15T00:52:00.000-07:00

It looks like the passion question from yesterday is leading (by one vote!) and I guess I better get ready to post about it.

I am giving you chance one more chance to pick from the questions from last post. Oh one more thing.. those of you who pick the winning question, may have a chance to have a one on one private chat with me online!

Keep your comments coming...

Tiara

Pick your question.. and girlpower!

2005-10-13T00:41:00.000-07:00

Hey girls! I think it is time for us to get together. The boys can't have all the fun, right?? For you women who have been visiting this blog. Thank you. I have created a place just for us women. It is called Tiara Lestari's For Women Only. We can share ideas and stories. Absolutely no men may enter the premises! (Robin, Doc, Marco, don't even think about it :)

Now boys (and Ayu:), thank you for all the question you post via comments in response to my "Ask me" posting a couple of days ago. I honestly could not believe how many questions you guys have on that posting. I can't decide which one is the best! So, here they are: the top 10 questions. Pick one.. and I do mean one question for me to answer (via comment not via email ok?). The top question will get the VIP treatment of being my next posting subject. Most important.. I will be as blatantly honest as humanly possible in answering that one question. I am waiting...

What is my passion?
Given that the lifespan of a model is usually short where do I see myself in the next 5 years?
Describe my perfect romantic evening and describe my wildest fantasy?
What is my happiest day like?
Tell a little a story about my childhood, and also about what makes me become a model?
What kind a man do I like ?
What is the most craziest-bitchiest-hottest fantasies that I've think about lately?
Have I found my soulmate?
What do I really want from life?
What is "friend" for me, how do I describe that word?

Honestly, I don't like it when someone post anonymously. So, I am not answering those questions. How unfair it is for you to know my name and I have to call you Mr. A? Write your name when you post a comment..please..

There are two questions I will answer now loudly: I am not now or ever be interested to be part of the porn industry. Second, You cannot pay me USD 1 Billion dollar to be a sex escort (or any other escort). Not gonna happen!

Last, but not least, there are questions that require short answers, and I will go ahead and answer them now:

Do I want to came back to Indonesia ? Yes
Do I have any boyfriend? Yes
How many encounter do I already have ? I have ___ encounter :)
Who are the people that I love most right now (besides family)? My boyfriend, Arta and his kids
Do I eat fast food? Yup
Where do I usually go in weekend? Night Clubs and my sofa
Am I..really me? Ehm.. duh.. yes :)
If offered lots of money, would I be in Porn? NO
Do I think "Bonanza" was a true depiction of life in the West? NO
If not do you think that Zarina, the notorious drug girl (in Indonesia) would be a good subject of a new tv show? NO
Am I part of en escort agency? HELL NO. Shawn loser.. stop emailing me
What is the most important thing to me right now, such that I am willing to sacrifice my life for it ? My family
What is my passion and ambition after modeling? Being a good wife and mother
What is your favorite brand? Gucci bags, and Chanel make up

Tiara

Home for my Birthday

2005-10-11T23:34:00.000-07:00

Hallo Jakarta!

My beloved parents asked me to come home for my 25th birthday and I didn't mind at all. I haven't been home for a while and I miss this town, but mostly I miss my family.

For those who don't know, it is Ramadan for us Muslim where we fast for the entire day and we only eat our meal before sunrise and break the fast at sundown. I came home Sunday nite when my parents told me the plan for the pre morning meal tomorrow. We had 200 box food with rice and chicken to be distributed around town before the morning meal. So I started my birthday day at 2am with family and friends with a big ugly truck going around Jakarta handing these food to homeless people who need them.

This is an experience I've never had before and I will always be grateful to my parents for suggesting it. There are those of us lucky enough to have simple things in life like a home. There are millions out there who do not. What I did today doesn't help them more than for one day. I wonder what we can do if everyone do more to help. I wonder?

I don't get to see my sister a lot so it was also enjoyable to do this with her. I ended up spending the whole day with her. Mostly we chat about her life and mine. In the afternoon, I drag her to the old gym I used to go to in Jakarta for a workout and met my old personal trainer. We worked out together for a couple hours (although I think we chit chat more than we worked out:).

The other cool thing that happened that day was when I came to my jakarta apartment where my sister lives after we worked out. For some weird reason, my sister told me I should go the bedroom. As I open the door, there were 24 red roses and 1 yellow rose scattered throughout the bed, each accompanied with a small birthday card. In the middle of it was a small gift.

I was highly surprised mostly because I didn't expect my boyfriend to do something like this. Between screaming and crying, I wasn't sure what to do until he appeared from the bathroom (after hiding for half an hour:) to wish me happy birthday.

He told me the 25 roses represented my 25th birthday. One yellow rose with today's birthday card and the other 24 for the past 24 years he missed my birthdays. What a woman to do when given something like that...

I like surprises. Especially like this one. It is a nice way to spend my birthday.

The day end with a family dinner and gathering at my family spiritual mentor's house. He is a person that have always there for my family in time of needs and in time of happiness. We talked... All of us. About life, spirituality and destiny. I don't know where my life goes after this. I do know that today, on my birthday, I am thankful. I am blessed.

Tiara

PS: For those who wished me Happy Birthday via comments and via email, Thank you!

Ask me

2005-10-09T00:14:00.000-07:00

Today, I feel like opening myself up. Wide open. Ask me anything. And I do mean anything. Ask me and the one question that move me the most will be the topic of my next posting. Hell if it moves me "that" much.. I may.. oh well.. ya know..

Now the "rule" of this game is that you MUST ask using comments below and not via email. Lets keep this one out of the private area shall we? Although you are more than welcome to ask me "private" stuff

I am waiting....

Tiara

I miss my friend Jasmina...

2005-10-08T01:32:00.000-07:00

Jasmina is my best friend in Singapore. She is Croatian and we used to live together in this fast pace, and sometimes, very "cold" city. When I first moved here for my modeling career, it wasn't an easy decision. I didn't know that many people and she was one of the first persons I met. She realy knows how to make me laugh with her "funny way" of speaking English.

By the time I came here, Jasmina was already establishing herself in the modeling industry in Singapore. We all heard horror stories of models hating each other, even sabotage each other. Well, they don't know Jasmina. From day one, she was so supportive of me. She always believed in me, before anyone else. Everytime I ran into roadblock, she was always there.. with her jokes and her smile... That chick always smile. She had this trademark scream when we see each other, she always said, "juuhuu!!".

About a year ago, she decided to visit her home after a modeling gig in Hong Kong. Not too long after that, she sent me an email telling me that she had found the man of her dream. She told me she decided to stay home in Croatia and quit modeling to become a wife and a mother. She told me how much she loves her man and this was her "real" dream. I have since lost contact with her.

In life, there will always be those special people you meet in special time and you can never get them out of your heart and mind, regardless the space between you. She is one of those people for me. Jasmina, if you are reading this... I miss you girl!

She left before "i made it" in the modeling world. She sent me this email long before my first major magazine appearance. Now boys... imagine a 172 cm, Croatian beauty saying the following (with her thick accent):

"My dear, i wish you good luck!! And take them all jobs they have, cause you desirve it!! You are the best:)dont forget. When i come to you, im shore you gonnaalready geaveing autograms for jung boys! hahaha"

Juuhuuu!

Tiara

Fake Tiaras (Tiara Palsu).. Get a life!

2005-10-07T19:41:00.000-07:00

I receive an email yesterday from Robert Simatupang ( a new friend:) and he told me there is a person pretending to be me on Friendster.com. Whoa!! It is one thing to try to convinced people that it is really me typing this post, but totally another thing to see my own pictures some loser took from the internet and claim that she is me!

First, Thank you Robert for alerting me.

Second, for those who want to claim they are me on the internet.. Get a life! Is your life so bad that you have to pretend you are someone else? Do you speak English? If not, here: Kok hidup kamu kasian banget sih sampai harus ngaku-ngaku jadi orang lain di internet??

Here's an open challenge to anyone who claim to be me. Show "my" out-takes on your profile.. I am posting two on this one. Maybe I should explain what out-takes is to these people. On photoshoot, photographer will takes hundred of pictures, the one they don't use is called out-takes. Only the photographer and I (sometimes the magazines) have these out-takes photo. I have mine. Can you show "my" out-takes?

Any idiot can cut and paste my pictures from the internet. Unless you have what I have, you are an imitators. I guess I should be flattered..but I am not! Especially, when this loser doesn't even take time to research. FYI to Ms. kasian-deh-loe... I was born on October 10th.. that is not Cancer you loser!

Boys, her email address is aka_tiaralestari@yahoo.com her url on friendster is http://www.friendster.com/user.php?uid=21592181. Please email her and say: Kamu tukang bohong. Kasian deh loe! (I am sure she doesn't speak english).

Tiara

Why am I cosmopolitan (not the magazine)...

2005-10-06T01:42:00.000-07:00

Today's posting is in honor of men who have been my voice in the internet when I was not around to respond (Robin, Marco and Dr. Lee). It is my way of thanking them for being so vocal on my behalf. Boys.. this one for you:

Why am I cosmopolitan? It behooves me to answer without first quoting a dictionary of what the word "Cosmopolitan" means. The word simply means: A sophisticated person who has traveled in many countries. Well... first let me take that as I compliment.

If that is the meaning of the word, then it is very easy. I have traveled around the world. A lot. I have met people from across the globe with different backgrounds, cultures, beliefs and attitudes. I am like that boy character in the movie "meet the fockers" (you guys should see..it is funny as hell). I am like a sponge. I absorb. I adjust. In the end of that process is.. ehm.. me. Like this. The one you see and the one you read.

I have been lucky enough to have met so many people and developed relationships with them that further enhances my multi cultural attitudes. They are my true teachers (you know who you are:). I am Indonesian and proud of it. But there many Indonesian like me, who have been exposed to the world out there resulting in a combined thinking of eastern and western cultures. I am just one of them. If that is considered cosmopolitan, I'll take it.

I will forever cherish relationships with men like David and Dino, women like Loulou, Jasmina and Lexter. They have taught me so much that I could never repay them. As an Indonesian, I can't help but realize that there many who are like me out there. Some quietly supporting me, some are very vocal. I thank them too. I hope I will continue to grow. One person at a time. One friend at a time.

There you go my dear doctor Lee. My answer.

Tiara

PS: I hope you like my picture overlooking the Central Park in New York. I thought it suits the story :)

Which me would you want?

2005-10-04T07:21:00.000-07:00

I am having an argument with my manager about which pictures from magazines I should be sending my modeling agency. I am settling this debate the democratic way. Would you guys please tell me which one you like the best? Please ....

Just leave a comment or as always, email me. Ok?

Tiara

Can you offer me swimming lesson?

2005-10-03T14:35:00.000-07:00

My agency sent me an email a couple of days ago. He was excited to let me know that there was a client wanted to do a two day photoshoot in India for some magazine. Paid pretty good.. I was just excited to hear the word India. I always wanted to go there but never had a chance. One thing, this is an underwater shoot so he asked me If I was a good swimmer. It is after all a requirement to be able to do an underwater photo shoot.

I can't swim!! As much as I'd love to take this job, I cannot. Aaaargh! I told him I could take a fast track swimming lesson.. but I don't think I can make it in time. Drowning is not an option for any model. Trust me :)

Anyone out there can teach me how to swim?

Tiara

Wedding party

2005-10-02T00:49:00.000-07:00

First, let me apologize for my posting yesterday. I was really mad yesterday and I guess it shows . I hope I didn't offend anyone (except the terrorists).

As I have mentioned before, weekend for me is a time for being lazy. My laziness today resulted in my forgetting an invitation to a wedding until it was an hour too late! I rushed there so fast and guess what.. the wedding party was over. The worst part was as I walked up the stairs, there she was.. my friend who just gotten married coming out with her new husband and their family in their casual clothes... ooops!

Sorry girl.. congrats and I love you (blushed:)

Tiara

Bali bombers: F*CK YOU!!

2005-10-01T08:29:00.000-07:00

Is there one good reason to kill another human being?? Is there one good reason to kill a bunch of inocent human beings who are just having a nice dinner in a nice place???! Why do people do this horrible acts?

I am mad. I am upset. Screw that... I am pissed off!!! I saw on the news about the Bali bombs a few minutes ago and I have been trying to call my friends who live there..and I can't get through! If you are one of them..please....please call me and let me know you are okay.

Message to the bombers: You are a bunch of cowards who probably can't get you penis up! You are a sad bunch of people with no heart. Honestly, none of you deserve to live. Your day will come. With the grace of the all powerful GOD.. your day of judgment will come!

Tiara

PS: To the family of victims, my prayers goes out to you. My thoughts are with you and your family. You are now my brethren..

Weekend... yipee!!

2005-09-29T22:51:00.000-07:00

It sure has been a long week for me. Preparing for the acting final exam took alot out of me. For those who want to know, I did okay last night :) I think I could do better although some people said I did well. I dunno.. all I know that it was a blast!! It was so much fun being someone else on stage like that.. having an emotional rollercoster of a year crammed into a 20 minute performance. It was a rush.

What should I do today? Hmm.. I am being really lazy. I guess this wil be my boring post. Guys, I am going to my sofa to watch DVD. Do enjoy your weekend..

Tiara

THANK YOU 2776 times!

2005-09-29T22:09:00.000-07:00

I published this blog three days ago and all I know is that in the first 12 hour, I had 24 visitors to this blog. A rate of two an hour. Honestly, I was happy enough even though I am sure the 24 people included my friends and family :) I wanted a medium where I can voice my opinion and share my feelings.. I have it. Even with 24 people reading them

As I am writing this post, there have been 2776 visitors on this blog! I have no idea where you guys come from.. but from the bottom of my heart, I thank you for being here, reading and commenting. I can't wait to see you guys back.

For as long as you guys are here, I will keep writing. I am here to stay. You don't have to like what I say, but I hope my voice will add something to your life, even if it's just 2 minutes of your life. One thought, one idea at a time.

This post is also a place for me to name a few people who have been supporting me even before this blog came to fruition: Marco (thanks for being convinced), Robin, Dr. Lee (Still doubting?:), Iyo, Boobie, Egi and sexy Mba Ira (and your entire family really!).

Thank you for being first commentators on my blog: Michael Chua(Love that baby!) , O MicrÃ³bio, #1 fan , Solo en la oscuridad, Fujie, Fr34Kysp4wn, Artnet (Will let you know soon!)

Duan, Guntur and Devil..you three will always be the first three fan emails I received. I don't like the word "fan". I prefer Friends. Is that ok with you?

Again, 2776 THANK YOUS from me to you and yours..

Love,
Tiara

Acting class and final exam... yikes!

2005-09-29T00:53:00.000-07:00

In between my travels, I managed to enroll in an acting class. I have no previous experience in acting whatsoever. I just wanted to see if I can do it. I must say that it's been so much fun learning about this art. My teacher is one of the reasons that makes this experience truly enjoyable. First and foremost, he let me missed more than a few classes due to conflicting schedule. Second, he is good. I mean really good. A graduate of School of Dramatic Arts in Pasadena, California and spending 15 years refining his art there.. he is no joke.

Tomorrow is "final exam" where all the students perform a scene from a specific play we've been practicing for months. I am a nervous wreck!! I am playing a scene from a play called Key Exchange written by Kevin Wade. It is a scene where a couple argues over their commitment and relationship based on exchanging apartment keys with each other.

There is a kissing part in this scene. My partner is not bad looking so it helps to get into the whole kissing part. What is funny though is the fact that he is so uncomfortable doing the kissing part when my boyfriend is watching us practice. There was a time when my boyfriend actually joked with him that he should kiss me with love, and not lust.

Anyway, I think I'm ready... I think.. maybe.. Oh well.. wish me luck

Tiara

Boys.. this is really me

2005-09-28T09:26:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I forget this whole internet thing can give anyone an ability to "hide behind the screen". You can pretend that you are someone else and have a different E-life. The irony for me is totally reverse apparently. Guys.. this is really me. I have received so many emails asking "Am I really Tiara?" It is both funny and entertaining to see these questions. But what am I to do? I can's really jump out from your screen...

I started writing this blog mainly to let people who have seen my body (in magazines), that I am more than that. I have a mind. I have a voice. That's it.

Tiara

A man can capture my heart...

2005-09-28T00:58:00.000-07:00

If he is funny.. he is caring.. he is confident... he is smart. Yes, he needs to be all that. Most important to me is trust. I have to be able to trust him and vice versa. Relationship is hard enough. Even with trust fully intact. Look.. I live in a world where beauty is more important than brain and physical perfection is demanded at every front, even when it is heartless. I need a man that can see through all that and knows that it is just a job. A profession. I can never be with someone who is insecure and not sure of himself. I need a man who, first and foremost, is full of trust and knows who he is in this world.

Have you ever been so in love that it hurts so bad? I mean you are physically in pain for wanting someone so bad. I mean, what is it like to be so in love with someone that you forget about the world around you?

I am in a relationship now. It started so suddenly that neither him nor I could comprehend what was happening to us. He knows, accepts, even supports what I do. Relationship is hard and we have to work on it. Everyday. I love him with all his flaws. At times, it is not enough.

Capturing my heart is not about a five minute love song we hear on the radio. It is about trust, passion and -in the end- honesty...

Tiara

2005-09-28T00:42:00.000-07:00

This is me.

My thoughts on modeling and being a model...

2005-09-27T08:15:00.000-07:00

I love being a model. Places I have seen, people I have met, culture I have discovered are all possible because of my being a model. I am thankful.

That being said, being a model, for me is a temporary thing. I ultimately want to be a mother. I want the simple things like having a family and kids... lots of them.

In life, sometimes you have to make a choice. I do not believe it is possible for me to be an international model and be a good mother at the same time. Do you guys see Cindy Crawford around lately? She is being very happy with her family now. I want what she has. Being married, having a family is more important to me than being a famous model. It's a choice.

Make no mistake about it, I will take this modeling career as far as it can get me, before I say "I do" to man I love. When that day comes.. I will be the most loving wife any man can have. By choice. And I will be the best mother to my children. I want them to be proud of me. And I think they will.

If there is opportunity after I am married, I certainly will take advantage of that. But modeling will ceased being a priority in my life.

For you who want to start a modeling career anywhere in the world. Have fun. Enjoy. Go after your dream. Remember, this is a profession and one must treat it as such. It is not always glamorous, but if you enjoy what you do, who cares? Integrity is very important in this business. Many "smiles and promises" will be given to you, but not all of them are honest. Worst of all, many of the "smiles" may actually be so fake and will only take you to places you will never ever want to touch with a ten foot pole. Be careful.

I am sharing this for those who aspire to become...

Simply, I love being a model. It is a choice. For now.

Tiara