Tiara Lestari's Personal Journal

My words, my feeling, my memories, my experiences. Mostly, this is me.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

I missed it!!

There I was preparing to celebrate the 100K visitor. I was thinking of something smart and original to say.. something very difficult to do for me these days. Then the magic call came from my manager," Tiara," he said, "get ready, you're gonna have a very busy week." I am a pro.. or at least, I am supposed to be one anyway. So I calmly look at my schedule and started to get ready and off we went. Sure enough... all these busy schedule occurred when my 100K visitor actually hit.

So I missed it... my 100k day was just another day in the "office". I woke up, looked at my blog, and it was well passed 100K. Oh well :)

On a serious note, I want to once again thank all of you guys. For being here with me, for saying things to me and to others on my blog. This was my house, but I would like to think of this blog as OUR HOUSE now. Without being overly sentimental about the whole thing.. I do want to say that it means a lot to me that you all are here with me.

Throughout the life of this blog, I always tried to do a couple of things. The first is being as honest as humanly possible. My boyfriend always told me he felt that I bare my soul too much on this blog. I tried. And I hope you can understand that sometimes it is very very hard, especially when I wrote something so personal. It is hard and yet, I felt I do not do you or me justice if I don't at least try to be as honest as I can be. With the exception of a few bad apples, I realize that most of you that come here to get to know me better. So my friends, I promise you that I will try my hardest to remain honest, open, and to continue to write without personal boundaries.

Second, as ugly some of the comments made on this blog, I tried my best not to delete them. I have done it twice. Once was a guy who tried to promote websites to "buy" Indonesian models. No discussion there. Second was those ugly comments made using my name. Aside from these two, I have never ever deleted any comments. When you see "comments deleted by author", that means the writer of the comment deleted his or her comment, not me.

I strongly believe this blog should be a place where battle of ideas is fought so bravely by heroes and zeros alike. Where those who want to hug me digitally mingle with those who want to spit at my face. I am here, with my clothes on and my brain naked to the world. Get used to it. I welcome you even if you think I am the ultimate whore that has sold my soul to the devil. Say what you want to say on the comments box, and I will be hearing, reading, considering, and -at times- responding to you.

This experience of having a blog has been an interesting one. It is a learning experience that I would like to share with others like me. Others who are currently and in the future would like to make a living with their pretty faces. Yes, for you other models.. join me and start to write on my new blog. I have created this new blog for other models so they can start experiencing what I have experienced the last few months.

If you are a model who would like to be known for more than just your pretty faces, this new blog is for you.

For everyone else who have been here, communicating, flattering, insulting or talking to me on this blog, once again, thank you for being here. Welcome to our house.

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  • At February 15, 2006 1:40 AM, Blogger mia said…

    heeyy first comment! Being honest is a good policy. But why? What's the point in putting your "bare" soul for people to judge?

  • At February 15, 2006 6:43 AM, Blogger Dan D. Baby said…

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  • At February 15, 2006 9:45 AM, Blogger Gregg said…

    Congratulations of 100,000 visitors. That is really an awesome accomplishment, even for someone who naturally attracts men with her beauty ;-)

    you are still my favorite model.

  • At February 15, 2006 6:51 PM, Blogger bentar said…

    just stop tosay a word
    the wonderful and outstanding job to work from your thight schedule.

    as an Indonesian I salute you personally because not much Indonesian women to go international like you.

    Success with your job and blog.

  • At February 15, 2006 9:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…


    I want to marry you right now? Would you accept my proposal?

  • At February 15, 2006 10:33 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…


    Congrats on the blog stint. I think more than anything is your terrific attitude, that is, honesty with action, and that makes you part of a very small minority in this troubled world. So I tip my hat (oops, I don't have one) so how about a wink ;). It almost doesn't matter what you do in life as long as the attitude, that vibrational frequency, is spot on.

    Also, if you could talk sometimes about Indonesia (I'm not Indonesian) from what you know or the little cultural twists...I'd love to hear some paranormal stories if you have them. Muah.


    btw what does "tiara" mean in Indonesian? I know it means like royal crown in English, are you a princess?

  • At February 16, 2006 12:03 PM, Blogger TiaraLestari said…

    Mia, Dan,Gregg, Bentar and two Mr. No names,

    Thank you for being here! I wanted to say that people like you guys are the reasons why I keep writing and enjoying every minute of it.

    I don't know why I bare my soul, but I do know that honesty begets openess begets dialogue begets understanding begets community of people who respect each other. I love that.

    Maybe that is why I call this OUR house. Because of people like you.



  • At February 16, 2006 6:07 PM, Anonymous mae said…

    Ah, some lame girl get obsessed (aroused) with figure !

  • At February 16, 2006 7:59 PM, Blogger Kenshin NG said…

    :) Too bad you missed out on the 100k visitor thingy..must have been real busy at work. Its good to be able to share things with people using a blog...just feel free to share your thoughts with us all..i believe you will feel much better whether you are feeling sad or happy in the first place.


  • At February 16, 2006 10:31 PM, Anonymous Yasmin said…

    Hi Tiara,
    It's my first time in your blog. I have to give it to you, am quite impressed!
    When I first saw the news on you and the playboy cover, honestly i thought "just another silly girl climbing the popularity ladder using her body!". I must say I was wrong! I could see that there are so much more to you from the blog.

    Keep up the good work!


  • At February 17, 2006 1:14 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    dont be afraid to be protested by others.. u have a great talent in photography, n a nice body if i could say.. teruslah berkarya!!

  • At February 17, 2006 4:47 AM, Blogger Mocha Almond Fudge said…

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  • At February 17, 2006 4:52 AM, Blogger Mocha Almond Fudge said…

    Whatever it is, Tiara..

    Read the email I sent you. You'll completely understand my sentiment. Frankly I have NEVER seen that many glamour models who erre NOT mistaken for a women of 'lesser intelligence' or lesser morals i.e. bimbo.

    But gentlemen, Tiara here is an exception. Like I said in countless other blogs that being an asian and being a malay (Singapore-Malay, Indonesian, Malaysia-Malay etc) we are all bound by certain taboos and opinions. What with he fact that shedding your clothes is literally not appealing concept at all. Mouths will definitely start a-shooting. I am VERY sure the names that has been called in reference to what Tiara has done and what she does for a living. But if Tiara had a a dollar for every deregatory remark implied to her for her being a glamour model and an Indonesian no less, well, let's just say she'll have a little more money in her panties.

    Some of us can look beyond religion. Some of us are not bounded by it. Me? I'll yawn whenever anyone goes into a Friday Sermon mode on me. I mean I am somewhat a man of religeion, but this muslim doesn't go around preaching.

    My point is: Life is about choices really. Nowadays the word Heaven or Hell and the boudaries of sin that we cross is only a choice between the things you want to do and the things you are reluctant to do. And that's my two cents worth.

    And that anonymous guy who proposed to you, Tiara? I mean really now.. what are you 11 dude? Grow up dude!

  • At February 17, 2006 6:07 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    perempuan laknat, ahli neraka, pelacur, perempuan syetan kamu tiara, ingat kamu akan mati, ingat itu .....

  • At February 17, 2006 8:41 AM, Blogger Mocha Almond Fudge said…

    1st of all you left a note anonymously talking abt hell and being damned. I say to you sir have some frikking balls to puting your frikking name when you say things like that. Dude have you been reading the posts? Like I have repeated time and again...

    'and then there are those who truly believe they have the right to tell YOU that you are going to go to hell.." Cut and paste this on your forehead.

    But I don't want to react any more than I already have to the last post. I'm sure Tiara would have something to say.. Or.. she can delete your post. Simple as just a click of the mouse.

    Thank you....! I'll be here all night.

  • At February 17, 2006 10:28 AM, Anonymous Ari W said…

    Maybe u can celebrate the milestone of 200k, i wish.

    Eniwei, i watch ur interview with RCTI on TV last night. r u sure u want to play in movie? I'll waiting or it.
    CMIIW, i've record it on video

  • At February 17, 2006 7:35 PM, Blogger TiaraLestari said…

    Hi there Mae, Joshua, Yasmin, BeamerMx and Ari!!

    I noticed a trend happening here on my blog.. lots of new commentators here! Welcome everyone :)

    Thank you for your honest and straight-to-the-point comment Beamer. By the way, since you are new here, let me just tell you that there are lots of people too coward to put their name yet so brave in telling us who is going to hell or not. Don't worry about them. As long as they are not brave enough to have thair names up there, they are not worth my time or yours :)

    Oh, and I do not delete comments. I have people like you with common sense to react to such stupidity.


  • At February 18, 2006 12:13 AM, Blogger Mocha Almond Fudge said…

    Well, Tiara. I am a Muslim-Malay man who appreciates freedom of expression.

    And therein I think lies the reason why some of the people who know me personally, say that I am a walking contradiction. Once I heard a man trying to justify that his Islam is better than mine. 'I looked him straight into his eyes and said.. 'And saying that to me gets you closer to God or heaven? Kinda self-righteous and self-serving isn't it? Giving out unsolicited guilt?'

    I have met many of these kind of men and women over the years. And let me share with everyone who reads this posts that those people bore the pants off of me. Why does anyone have to put down another person to make him feel good or that he had done some good? I walk away everytime someone tries to prove that he has outdone me or that he is better than me.

    Some women has even tried to tell me that I am incomparable next to a white man, black man etc etc etc... Of course I am incomparable. I am me! And there's noone other THAN me. Because I am unique and I don't have to live the rest of my natural like proving to ANYONE that I should outdo anyone else. I strive to be excellent only because I take pride in the things I do and say. And I will take into consideration what other people comment about me because I am always interested to improve myself.

    Tiara, I have peroused through some of the comments on your blog and off of it.

    I can surely tell you, you certainly have many men (shallow, really shallow men) either trying to get you to do very VERY sordid things with them or just trying to have your hand marriage. Sigh! Men will be men aye? They have a certain duality in them. They can choose to be a complete pig or a complete gentlemen.

    I bet you must be peeing in your pants laughing for everytime you heard those sex-craved request of theirs. I swear to you Tiara, some men live in this warped porn video reality. Sigh! and Yawn!

    You my dear... are God's gift to men. A beauty in godly curves. And I appreciate you, I complement you on your courage and your daring to take the plunge.

    People ask you to comment on Playboy Indonesia just because your work of the Playboy: Dutch edition. Its like asking you to speak for a certain group of people (Whatever group of people they think you will represent). Such is our regional journalism community.

    I gotta admit something. I commend Tiara for what she does as opposed to some Malay models I know. They call themselves models, but would have some reservations to do a certain aspect of a shoot. Its just like if you become a stewardess but you refuse to handle pork or serve alcoholic drinks. I say, if you don't want do it, don't jump into the boat.

    Take what life offers you Tiara. Sheesh! I don't have to tell you that.. :)

    It is sad thing that your parents don't support what you did or what you a still doing. Such is life if you choose a certain path in life. The only lines that you draw is the lines YOU choose not to cross.

    With love and courage my dear, dear Tiara.. I wish you success and happiness.

    Mulyadi Rahmat
    Bedok Reservoir Road

  • At February 20, 2006 6:55 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Well done.Very well written Beamermx! Only God know what you have done Tiara.Never judge a woman by her black veil

  • At February 20, 2006 9:35 AM, Anonymous sri djoko - solo said…

    actually neh, gw ga tau knapa kok gw sampe koment disini - gw cuma liat n baca sepintas isinya kok banyakan hujatan-2 dan kata-2 yg ''syerem'' dan ''ngeres'' buat ayu (nama asli) lestari. sbenernya nih ayu lestari mo bugil, mo ngangkang, mo jadi pelacur, mo jadi nymphomania,suka exhibisionist,dll. urusan dia toh ? knapa pada marah-2 n buang-2 energy? wong dia enjoy kok... dia kan gadis dari kota kecil yg pingin ngejar impiannya punya duit banyak dengan cepet dan dengan cara yg gampang dan yang penting dia mau njalani sendiri ga ada yg maksa, yo wis ben toh kalo dia kaya gitu...yang malu kan ya kluargane sendiri, toh ? jadi omongan tetangga-2, dll kan urusan dia... gw rasa yg ga ada hubungan dg dia ga perlu maen hujat-2an terus , malah bikin dosa sendiri, lho....

  • At February 20, 2006 10:02 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Sudah nikmati gambarnya, kok malah menghujat??

  • At February 20, 2006 7:45 PM, Blogger AcE of the AcES said…

    When I received a picture of a strikingly beautiful lady from my friend, I didn't have a clue in my mind that you're an Indonesian. I was happy knowing that know Indonesia has turn into more democratic nation by allowing someone to express himself/herself without any border. Apparently, this thought turned out to be false. After seeing monstrous waves of protest aimed at you, adult magazines, and other model, I become sad. In my opinion, your job is perfectly kosher, just like a clerk or a manager. Such elegance should not be wasted in front of computer or between files of achieves. I just hope that Indonesia can become more open minded in subjects like this.

    Ps: keep on the good work. I'll support you morally from this blog.

  • At February 21, 2006 4:30 AM, Blogger Kenshin NG said…

    haha wow :) now that is what i call nothing to hide beamer :) and you are a good example of a good Muslim..not some prude who doesn't believe in equality among the sexes and the freedom of expression(positive ones at least)

    Tiara is going to Bali~~~Wheeee

  • At February 22, 2006 1:22 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I am not taking side or anything.

    Just want to say something. These people who said bad things about Tiara are entitled to their opinion. You can't get people to agree with you all the time. Its their choice to disgaree with you.

    It is about time you should grow up to accept people opinion. Its their opinion, not yours. Same to what you think,write and defend about Tiara.

    cherio bloggers! Peace

  • At March 13, 2006 5:47 PM, Anonymous semuasayanganna said…

    potonya bagus bangettt

  • At March 16, 2006 9:40 PM, Anonymous Raphael said…


    I have never understood those that claim good looks are coupled with stupidity (or other negative term).
    In my experince, it's usually opposite.

    Society - all society - treats those that are considered 'different' very harshly, hence those that get singled out - because of beauty or otherwise - must be smarter than the rest to survive.

    Congatulations on surviving and flourishing. And thank you for talking to people and willing to show the person behind the image. It has hopefully taught people to rethink their sterotypes and made the world a better place.

    I have nothing but respect for someone who is willing to let people know what they think and believe - esp. if it doesn't toe the line.

    Keep it up



  • At April 15, 2006 1:49 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    well come back Tiara.... I know that in the deep of your heart, u regret what u 've done before. Forget it all..!!! be a real indonesia women such as kartini and other women heros.


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