Tiara Lestari's Personal Journal

My words, my feeling, my memories, my experiences. Mostly, this is me.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Bare my soul(mate)


We all agree that a soulmate is someone who was MEANT for you and MEANT to be with you.

Soulmate for me is a bestfriend above all else, someone who motivates you, makes you laugh easily, someone who listen patienly to what I have to say, someone who I can say anything to, someone who let me be a "monster" but will forgive me quickly when I apologize. Essentially, someone who will stand by you. We think alike, share the same interests and has common value. He makes a dramatic impact in my life(and I don't even rely it sometimes). He makes me to be a better person. He connects with me in a way that I can't explain... you know, we know what each other are thinking by just looking and smiling at each other. He always seem to always finish my sentences.

He completes me in way that when we are both together we are so much stronger as whole than when we are alone. And when we are away from each other I feel like a part of me is missing. We are comfortable together in silence. He would gladly put me and my needs ahead of his own. He has a deep desire to provide me with all that I am missing from my life.

Does the long description above enough for you guys? There is one man in my life that fit the above description. Is he my soulmate? Probably you would say yes. But let me point something to you.. I am not with him now. I have called one person a soulmate in my life and that is him. Yet, we're not together anymore. Whatever happened between us, he always hold a special place in my heart and I thank him. From the bottom of my soul, I thank him for the love he gave me and the friendship we had (have).

Let me ask you again. Is he my soulmate? Or do I need to define "soulmate" better?

Tiara

PS: Adi, Andre, Lucia, Farah.. one of you will have a chance to chat online one on one with me! Please email me why you should be the one I talk to.. Tiaralestar@yahoo.com.

31 Comments:

  • At October 20, 2005 1:46 AM, Anonymous Ari W said…

    I agree what u decript about a 'soulmate'. a 'soulmate' meets all categories what u write there.

    why he leaving u? Apa dia gak bisa menerima mu? ataukah, kmu yg melepaskannya?

     
  • At October 20, 2005 1:48 AM, Blogger Your David said…

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

     
  • At October 20, 2005 3:04 AM, Blogger TiaraLestari said…

    Dave,

    I love you and I meant every word I wrote about you in the posting. I can't explain why certain things happend in my life the way it did. But I can tell you I do love you.

    You have taught me everything I know about life. I thank you for that.You will always hold a special place in my heart. But now I am happy. With him. I am asking you to please move on with your life. Please.

    Tiara

     
  • At October 20, 2005 4:38 AM, Anonymous raya said…

    Wow.
    This dialogue sounds so familiar, I'm having relationship flashback, oh no.

     
  • At October 20, 2005 12:57 PM, Blogger Duan Damais said…

    C'mon, Tiara. Give 'em a break. Finding a job and having to answer " why you should be the one getting the job" is already hard enuff. Give 'em all the chance for one on one. Won't hurt you i promise.

     
  • At October 20, 2005 6:55 PM, Anonymous Dr. Lee said…

    Wow, now this is personal! I can't help wondering how Tiara's current boyfriend would feel reading this. This only makes me want to know the answer to the 'naked' question even more: why would anyone want to say this stuff in front of the whole world?

    Without knowing what actually happened between you Tiara I can't really speculate, but obviously something didn't work, which to my mind precludes David from being your true soulmate, at least in theory. I'm guessing that when you had to move overseas to pursue your career he did not want to go (or was not able to go) with you. Am I right? If so, was this becasue of other responsibilities or because he was not fully supportive of your modeling career? If the latter then he isn't your true soulmate; if the former then that is sad.

     
  • At October 20, 2005 8:38 PM, Blogger Mikaela said…

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

     
  • At October 20, 2005 8:41 PM, Blogger Mikaela said…

    Dear Tiara,

    I read your blog in awe!Simply interesting, thought-provoking, and makes me wanna know more about you... Just amazing! Awesome job, ger!

    First I got to know you was through an email sent by my friends, consists of your pics in Playboy magz. My first reaction was: "Wow...she is Beautiful!". It amazed me that an Indonesian can make it to Playboy (well...not coz Indonesians are not beautiful... We are! Very ^_~
    just that not so many can really be that professional and even make it to the International level).

    At that time, you were just another beautiful woman, to me...

    It all changed after I read about you in my mentor's blog, Pak Hermawan Kartajaya. I used to work for him ^_^ and to find your name in his blog means You ARE something... and after reading what he wrote, I was convinced! After reading your blog... I am now an Advocate of You.

    Salute to you dear! Must admit, this is the first time ever I even bother to skip my breakfast coz I was too engaged reading your blog and what everybody said about you... First time ever I bother to do more than just reading a blog...

    "Don't judge a book by it's cover".
    hmm... I think in Tiara's case... it just right to judge a book by it's cover... Beautiful outside, Divine inside.

    Keep inspiring us, ok!

    PS: Sorry, got typo error in the 1st post, so need to re-post it.

     
  • At October 20, 2005 9:23 PM, Anonymous jack said…

    It is a meeting of the mind, body and soul.

    Mind- where one does not feel or see the boundaries that exist between two people. One's feelings for each other is on a different plane altogether. It goes beyond love. Spiritual. One can know what the other is feeling even when one is not beside the other. Having feelings communicated through the unconscious mind or instincts. Almost out of body experience.

    Soul- the comfort one feels for the other goes beyond any questions one may have in any other realtionship. The meeting of the soul provides a level of ease that precludes any feeling of discomfort. It is the simplicity of it all; being comfortable.

     
  • At October 20, 2005 9:31 PM, Blogger Mikaela said…

    To me, a soulmate doesn't always mean that he/she is The One for you in terms of: the one you are madly in love with (or lust with), the one that you vowed "Till death do Us part" in front of the religion authorities, the one that you will spend the rest of your life with.

    It simply means the one that clicks with you so perfectly, a part of your soul is with him, and a part of his soul is with you. It feeds each other soul, in a more intimate way than a best friend does.

    I am sure most of us have met at least 1 person that we can claim as our soulmate in our journey of life (yes, I believe, soulmate could be more than 1, and you can meet them at different kind of stages of your life). Blessed are those who got to keep one ^_^ For those who didn't, well... then he/she is simply not the perfect partner for you according to God.

    I have had 2 person in my life whom I valued as my soulmates. Yes, we used to be together...and yes, we are no longer together now. But still I know, and they know, that no matter what, we always have that VERY special place in our hearts for each other.

    I am pretty sure they will be part of The 5 People You Meet In Heaven, for me ^_~

    PS: For those of you who haven't read that book and Mitch Albom's other book (Tuesdays with Morrie), I suggest to do it now...before it's too late :)

     
  • At October 20, 2005 9:44 PM, Anonymous raya said…

    I honestly think that you can only call friends, lovers, couples etc as soulmates after they're, ah, well, dead. As long as we still live, there's no telling what would happen in the future. Not just because people part ways, but people change, including the one you used to feel so comfortable or so compatible. People who used to be able to finish each other's sentences may one day turn to be strangers who seems as if they never met, as if the past didn't happen.

    So who is/are your soulmate/s? Only other people can tell you who they are, after you're gone. Only then have you passed the test of being a true soulmate and not just a romantic branding.

    Just my two cents.

     
  • At October 20, 2005 9:52 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Wow! This is the best blog yet! I see your ex-boyfriedns posting. After reading both of yours, I am very confused. What I read this moring was amazing. Everyone would do ANYTHING to have the kind of love you and Dave seem to have (had). It is a once in lifetime. I must be missing something because it sounds like you both love each other very much. Two poeple search whole lives to find that level of love and caring. And what he write is so honest & touching, you can feel how much he TRULY loves you!

    He must do something very bad for you to change boyfriends. What was bad part? I see beautiful rign on your finger in photo.Did you both plan marriage? Your new boyfiend must be very very special for you to not want to be with someone who seem they want marry you and have family. Isnt that what you write was your main goal in life???? Maybe your scared ex-BF not gonna be good husband/father??

    There is something very sad here. EIther you know already new BF is the right man for your future or you have jsut walked away from greatest thing in your life.

     
  • At October 20, 2005 10:36 PM, Anonymous nicky said…

    honestly...
    you have a great words from ur heart to explain what is "soulmate" means. i'm very like it....

    be happy n success :)

     
  • At October 20, 2005 10:57 PM, Blogger kiyoshi said…

    For me, sometimes a soulmate is not one that i have to be with.

    But as long as that person become my motivation in life, where i would sacrifice everything for her and where my feeling towards her would not change at any circumstances.

    Physics presence is not so important, but if that person makes a positive change in life for us , that would be satisfy my description as a soulmate.

     
  • At October 20, 2005 11:42 PM, Blogger TiaraLestari said…

    Guys, I want to be clear since now it is out in the open. Dave never did anything wrong. He is just that. Perfect. Too perfect. Why did I leave him for my current boyfriend. I don't know.

    What I do know is the first time I met my current BF, someting moved me in a way I can't explain. I still can't. Is that wrong? It doesn't feel wrong to me.

    Do I love my current BF? Yes. Do I love Dave? yes. It is my choice to be where I am right now. It doesn't take anything away from the fact that Dave was a perfect boyfriend.

    Tiara

     
  • At October 21, 2005 12:32 AM, Blogger dianelly said…

    Hi Tiara,

    It's me again ... your anonymous admirer that always sign off as "Your Indonesia Admirer"

    Well, I have decided to indentify myself since you have laid down the rule that you will only communicate with those that are willing to identify themselves

    Pheeeww ... that was difficult ...

    Now back to the subject of baring your soul(mate) ... I can only say that I really admire your candor ... I don't think I have the guts to do it.

    But before I go, would you be kind enough to answer the 'naked' question I posted earlier ... I know you will make two souls very happy ... myself and dr. lee

    Your Indonesian Admirer

     
  • At October 21, 2005 1:40 AM, Blogger rudy said…

    I want to thank you Tiara for being so honest. I also saw your ex-boyfriend Dave (David?)posting. I feel bad somebody deleted it because I wanted remember it. It was one of nicest things Ive ever read. I just wish once in my lifetime somebody I care abot could feel and say so many beautiful things about me. If somebody like that could love you that much, you know something, that makes me and everyone else respect you as a humnan being more than ever.

    It takes a very specila person to inspire the intensity of feelings he clearly has for you. It may sound stupid but after reading Dave post, I feel like I see so much more of the real Tiara. Not the naked super model - but a simple adorable, loving and affectionete girl who loves to cook for her man and can make each other smile by just looking at each other. He really make you sound amazing! Did he really make you feel as beautfil on the inside? If he did, I can understand why you call him your soul mate.

    YOu are so lucky to have found true love. If you really stay for 2 yrs tgether, were you going to marry? I notice the ring in the photo now to. Is it fake or is it real thing?? Is it from your new BF or old BF???

    Ive read everything you write about your ex(perfect BF, bestfriend, you "complete each other"). I mean WOW!!! BUt I DO NOT understnad why you leave the guy you know is your soulmate and in front of everyone, try to push him away?? OUCH!! MOst person would fight for a love so special. How do you push someone liek "your david" away and give up foreover on something so nice???

    Do you ever think you make a big mistake?

     
  • At October 21, 2005 2:42 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    As Dr. Lee said, "OBVIOUSLY something didn't work" with your ex. Therefore David cant be your true soulmate.

    What part didn't work??? He had to do somethign wrong for u want to leave him? And to change boyfriends???

     
  • At October 21, 2005 8:13 AM, Anonymous Regalia said…

    Reality Bites....

    Hurts...
    Pains...
    Confused...
    Lost...
    Choose..
    Move On...

    Dude, move on, she doesn't love you anymore...

    She's just try to be nice by saying she still love you... BUT... matter of fact... She already found her soulmate now...

     
  • At October 22, 2005 5:49 AM, Anonymous Dr. Lee said…

    Well Tiara, seeing as you're being so honest I'll be honest with you. The reasons you state for leaving Dave to be with your present boyfriend sound very frivolous and shallow. There must be more to your reasons for doing this than what you're telling us, right?

     
  • At October 22, 2005 6:23 AM, Anonymous raya said…

    ah, the good doctor..
    also sounded like my ex actually

     
  • At October 23, 2005 4:34 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    actually we share the same meanings of soulmates and there is a little differences, I believe that when God created me as one soul and put it to my body, it appears that my body cannot hold a soul of that big so He has to split my soul into 2 parts, one is me and the other is my soulmate, the one that complements, my missing part, and she is my wife.

     
  • At October 23, 2005 9:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Tiara - what have you done??? I have seen you and the tall blonde guy - must be your ex-Dave. You two looked like the perfect couple. YOu are smokin hot but were COMPLETELY into that guy. You even showed off your ring and said you were engaged ("not available" I remember!!).

    I have seen you two togehter and if everything you say about your ex is true (he's your soulmate), what are you doing with some new dude? Did you call off the engagement or did he?

    I know one thing, if your new boyfriend is the smug loser trying to rub it in to your ex under the posting by "Regalia" above - you really have made a huge mistake. What a wanker!

    Go back to your ex Tiara. Dont walk. Run!!!

     
  • At October 23, 2005 10:19 PM, Blogger Mickell said…

    We all thought our boyfriends and girlfriends were our soulmates until we married them. Of course, it take efforts from both parties to keep a marriage alive. Without effort from both parties, a soulmate can become a hellmate.

     
  • At October 25, 2005 10:16 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    This is what Elvis said at his song...

    "Honey, you lied when you said you love me but I have no calls to doubt you"

     
  • At November 06, 2005 3:52 AM, Anonymous Trent Wolodko said…

    Hey there,

    I didn't have the opportunity to read whatever it was Dave had posted, but from the inferences made in reader comments here, as well as comments by Tiara herself, I’ve pretty much come to the same conclusions Dr. Lee makes several comments above this one, but I’m not afraid to peel this onion back just a tad more…

    Leaving all this hocus-pocus metaphysical bunk about "soul mates" aside, it sounds as though you’ve flushed a good thing right down the toilet for no apparent justifiable reason, other than the equivalent of saying "Gosh, destiny sure is funny sometimes". Frankly, your story of how you met this new fellow, the “three days” rule, the dinner banter, the rose story, et al… It all sounds like this guy is deftly orchestrating every trick in the “How to Pickup Hot Chicks” book and you’ve fallen for it all hook, line and sinker... Good for him, I always wondered if that crap actually worked. Apparently it does, as you are indeed one “Hot Chick”.

    Maybe he’s a natural at it, but I really hope I don’t stumble across your site again to find a future post with you waxing romantic about coming home to find 11 real red roses and a single artificial rose rose in a bouquet with a note on it that says, “I’ll love you until the last rose fades” or a post where he insists you allow him to hire a bodyguard for you when you fly off on your next assignment and then he hands you a small teddy bear that says “Tiara’s Bodyguard” as you pass through the airport security gate.

    Excuse me, I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. Let me catch my bearings.

    Ok, better...

    Before you get any cozier with your new beau, I would suggest you take a look at some particular reading material available out there, including: “101 Romantic Ideas”, “How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You”, “The Game” and “The Art of Seduction”. You may be quite surprised, and then you’ll probably also vomit all over your beautiful self, because it really sounds as though you’re being led down the primrose path; perhaps willingly so... You seem like a bright girl, aforementioned comments notwithstanding.

    As Dr. Lee postulates, there must be something more to all of this, and if we take you at your word, not being able to offer any other reasonable explanation for your behavior, then it certainly sounds like a job for Occam’s Razor.

    That being said, I’ve also read some of the comments left by “Your David”, who I’ll assume is actually your ex. He’s reacting to the situation less like a man, and a hell of a lot more like a 12 year old boy who’s lost his favorite ice cream cone to the bully on the beach... I feel for ya pal. It’s tough to be the one that’s cast aside for another, for any reason, but you’ve got to realize that love hurts, life sucks and get a friggin’ helmet. If anything, your backhanded comments are making your chances for any kind of reconciliation worse! If you’re as wonderful as Tiara says you are, accept that and move on. Pretty girls are a dime a dozen. Pretty girls that are as seemingly insightful and beguiling as Tiara appears to be are certainly rarer, but they’re out there. Get back on the saddle, cowboy up, and try not to be such a little whiny Nancy about it. I’m guessing young Tiara will snap out of this funk soon enough… Don’t give her any reasons to feel differently about you by whining about the situation on her blog.

    Then again, perhaps Tiara simply does feel stonger attraction to this new fella, and she simply wants to let you down easy. From that perspective, I don't think I've ever read a more eloquent way for someone to present the old "It's not you, it's me" speech before. Perhaps Tiara's more intelligent and considerate than I give her credit for... And if that's actually the case, then yeah... Destiny really is funny.

    I'm all out of quotation marks,

    Trent

     
  • At November 24, 2005 2:16 AM, Anonymous CaTZ said…

    at least you have known how it felt to be with him. How do you feel if you meet someone who you can share everything and understand anything about you and yet can't be together

    at least, at this very moment ever since I've known her

     
  • At November 26, 2005 7:37 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

  • At November 26, 2005 7:39 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

  • At January 19, 2006 8:04 PM, Anonymous Solo200828 said…

    Hi Tiara,

    Answering your question: "Is he my soulmate?" He very well can be. Soulmate does not mean you have to be physically together with that person. Both already knew that they belong together in a special way and usually in a way that only they can understand.

     
  • At May 01, 2007 9:53 PM, Blogger Priyantha said…

    erm... this may have nothing to do with this particular blog entry of yours. Rather it has something to do with all of them...

    Your writing is really quite good (in my humble opinion). Just a thought, but do you write professionally?

    I also admire your restraint in handling your detractors and the crowd of idiots that hound you.

    I hope you continue to hold your head up and be yet another example that a person should never apologise for doing something they believe is right ( just keep it humane though).

    Cheers to you
    PK

     

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