Tiara Lestari's Personal Journal

My words, my feeling, my memories, my experiences. Mostly, this is me.

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Want to be my guest blogger?

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Hi Bloggers and readers....

I am on my way home to Indonesia for Idul Fitri holiday. I honestly do not know how much time I have writing and posting for this blog. So I have this crazy idea of challenging all you bloggers out there to write for me. Yes, be my guest blogger!

Since I published this blog on September 27th, I found many bloggers who have written about me (Yes, this includes you indcoup:). I feel like I know you a personally since I have visited your blogs so many times. Hence the idea of inviting you to be my guest blogger. Now this challenge does not have to exclude those who do not have a blog. If you like to write, but do not blog, you can send me an email with your writing as well!

So here's the scoop. Write. About anything. Email them to me (Tiaralestar@yahoo.com) and I will post the one I like on my blog!

What do you get? Well I certainly can't pay you.. ha ha ha. But I can offer you this: I am offering me, myself and I, to be your guest blogger for a day! I am here assuming you have your own blog and you actually want me to write on your blog :)

I will be back in Singapore one week from Idul Fitri. I will read all your writing and post my favorite asap. Ok?


Dengan segala kerendahan hati dan tulus ikhlas saya ucapkan:

Selamat Hari Raya Idul Fitri
1 Syawal 1426 H

Taqabbalallahu Minna Waminkum
Minal Aidin Wal Faidzin
Mohon Maaf Lahir dan Batin Atas Segala Kekhilafan

Semoga amal ibadah kita di bulan Ramadhan ini diterima Allah SWT dan kita selalu berada dalam lindungan-Nya. Amien.

Saturday, October 29, 2005

In search of my soul (mate)...

I received so many emails regarding the soulmate posting. One in particular is from a guy named Takeshi. Since there are some of you who still bent out of shape from that posting, I decided to post his email. I hope you -who are still bothered- can accept his email as a representation of my feelings about the issue. Trust me when I say I do have a strong feeling about the issue.

Honestly, this email is way too beautiful to be left in the private area of my yahoo inbox. Thank you Takeshi!

In my opinion, you just have not met your soulmate yet. So the change in your heart is nothing strange to me.

There are some kind of words to express feelings between man and woman just like Love and Affection. In case of Japanese language, there are Ai and Koi. I think most of the people think the meaning is almost same or even have never paid attention. So I did. But a Japanese novelist once gave me a hint. After many years passed since that, now I almost understand what he ment. He wrote like this:

Koi (¢â Love) is a natural feeling that we want to be with the person, but Ai (¢â affection) is an intention to be with the person.

Koi has its own logic. Nobody can explain it by words or common sense. Just like you are at a loss how to express what happened in your heart now.

But Ai is an strong intention to be with the person, whatever happens. If somebody makes you feel like that, he is the soulmate to you, I think.

I believe that I could have had a soulmate. Hubungan kami sudah 6 tahun. To say the truth I sometimes feel boring to be with her, and sometimes I am fascinated by another girl. But still, I can find strong intention inside me to be with her, which I did not have when I was younger.
Saya sudah yakin bahwa saya tetap mau bersamanya, walaupun dia sudah jadi nenek......
I can confirm that this is not temporary feeling like Koi, but Ai.

So I believe that you will also meet a man that make you feel like that.
Until that time, you have only to be youreself.
Jalannya masih panjang deh.

Take care and don't brood over too much !


There you go guys...


Thursday, October 27, 2005

Rhetorical value of nothing

Sorry for the lack of updates the last few days guys. I have been very busy and if I want to be honest, I have been very lazy with writing as well :( Today, I finally had time to relax having some nice hot cappucino at my favorite place, Crossroad cafe just outside the Marriott hotel. Then it dawn on me... I haven't post anything for the past five days! Yikes! My mind went into overdrive and started to desperately search for ideas.

Findings ideas to write has always come very easy for me. Oh nooo not today. I got none. My first "writer's blog" ha ha ha.

I looked at the couple sitting next to me. They seemed to be in love. (Yawn) boring. Then there is this screaming kid two tables from me.. yeah.. I really want to write about that one (Sarcastic:). Finally I had an epiphany which came via two Indonesian guys sitting across from me. They were eating doughnuts. So I ask myself, "Why doughnut always have a hole in the middle of it?" Think about it. Do you have an answer to that question? I mean really.. "Who was the genius that decided to put a hole in the middle of a very good food??"

Then the question kept coming.. stupid ones.. and it is penetrating me like a thousand lighting bolts. "How do chair look like if knees bend the other way?"
"Why do we listen to sad song when we just got dumped and we're trying to feel better?"
Speaking of broken heart... "Why do we cry when we are sad?"

"Why do we say 'God bless you' when someone sneezes"
"Why do we write from left to right? What do letters look like if we write from right to left?" "Who was the genius that designed the toilet seat to be so ugly? Why do we have to sit when we have to use the damn thing? Why?? Why?? Why???"

And then came the classic question.. "If a tree falls in the forrest and there is no one there to listen. Does it make a sound?" I do know the answer to this one.

Aaah.. the lack of ideas...

Tiara the philosopher

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Mau telpon aku?

My non-Indonesian friends.. sorry boys and girls.. this one is just for those in Indonesia :(

Kamu kamu yang di Indonesia sekarang bisa telpon aku. Bisa kasih pesan pribadi untuk aku dan aku akan check semua pesan sendiri dari Singapura. Teknologi emang luar biasa yah sekarang ini?

Cepet. Aku tunggu ya...

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Bare my soul(mate)

We all agree that a soulmate is someone who was MEANT for you and MEANT to be with you.

Soulmate for me is a bestfriend above all else, someone who motivates you, makes you laugh easily, someone who listen patienly to what I have to say, someone who I can say anything to, someone who let me be a "monster" but will forgive me quickly when I apologize. Essentially, someone who will stand by you. We think alike, share the same interests and has common value. He makes a dramatic impact in my life(and I don't even rely it sometimes). He makes me to be a better person. He connects with me in a way that I can't explain... you know, we know what each other are thinking by just looking and smiling at each other. He always seem to always finish my sentences.

He completes me in way that when we are both together we are so much stronger as whole than when we are alone. And when we are away from each other I feel like a part of me is missing. We are comfortable together in silence. He would gladly put me and my needs ahead of his own. He has a deep desire to provide me with all that I am missing from my life.

Does the long description above enough for you guys? There is one man in my life that fit the above description. Is he my soulmate? Probably you would say yes. But let me point something to you.. I am not with him now. I have called one person a soulmate in my life and that is him. Yet, we're not together anymore. Whatever happened between us, he always hold a special place in my heart and I thank him. From the bottom of my soul, I thank him for the love he gave me and the friendship we had (have).

Let me ask you again. Is he my soulmate? Or do I need to define "soulmate" better?


PS: Adi, Andre, Lucia, Farah.. one of you will have a chance to chat online one on one with me! Please email me why you should be the one I talk to.. Tiaralestar@yahoo.com.

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Big hugs for bloggers

While the "debate" over soulmate and passion is still going on, I'll go ahead give more time for you who still want to vote. By the way, soulmate question is now leading.

I wanted to use this posting to first and foremost thank all of you who visited this blog. I noticed that in the 20 days I published this blog, there have been over 25,000 visitors! I do not know most of you, but I thank you.

There is more, I found that some people in the blog world, started to write about me and my blog. This posting is dedicated for them. I don't know most of them, but their opinion -like so many others in blog world- matters. If nothing else, it matters to me. So, for you bloggers... I salute you..big hugs from me:

Hermawan Kartajaya
Firman Yursak
Enda Nasution
Visual Gui

I am sure I miss some of you blogger. If you have written something about me on your blog, please feel free to send me an email and let me know. I certainly cannot forget to thank my favorite boys in Asian Siren.

25,000 thank yous and keep blogging!


Saturday, October 15, 2005

U want to know my passion? Or soulmate?

It looks like the passion question from yesterday is leading (by one vote!) and I guess I better get ready to post about it.

I am giving you chance one more chance to pick from the questions from last post. Oh one more thing.. those of you who pick the winning question, may have a chance to have a one on one private chat with me online!

Keep your comments coming...


Thursday, October 13, 2005

Pick your question.. and girlpower!

Hey girls! I think it is time for us to get together. The boys can't have all the fun, right?? For you women who have been visiting this blog. Thank you. I have created a place just for us women. It is called Tiara Lestari's For Women Only. We can share ideas and stories. Absolutely no men may enter the premises! (Robin, Doc, Marco, don't even think about it :)
Now boys (and Ayu:), thank you for all the question you post via comments in response to my "Ask me" posting a couple of days ago. I honestly could not believe how many questions you guys have on that posting. I can't decide which one is the best! So, here they are: the top 10 questions. Pick one.. and I do mean one question for me to answer (via comment not via email ok?). The top question will get the VIP treatment of being my next posting subject. Most important.. I will be as blatantly honest as humanly possible in answering that one question. I am waiting...
  1. What is my passion?
  2. Given that the lifespan of a model is usually short where do I see myself in the next 5 years?
  3. Describe my perfect romantic evening and describe my wildest fantasy?
  4. What is my happiest day like?
  5. Tell a little a story about my childhood, and also about what makes me become a model?
  6. What kind a man do I like ?
  7. What is the most craziest-bitchiest-hottest fantasies that I've think about lately?
  8. Have I found my soulmate?
  9. What do I really want from life?
  10. What is "friend" for me, how do I describe that word?

Honestly, I don't like it when someone post anonymously. So, I am not answering those questions. How unfair it is for you to know my name and I have to call you Mr. A? Write your name when you post a comment..please..

There are two questions I will answer now loudly: I am not now or ever be interested to be part of the porn industry. Second, You cannot pay me USD 1 Billion dollar to be a sex escort (or any other escort). Not gonna happen!

Last, but not least, there are questions that require short answers, and I will go ahead and answer them now:

  1. Do I want to came back to Indonesia ? Yes
  2. Do I have any boyfriend? Yes
  3. How many encounter do I already have ? I have ___ encounter :)
  4. Who are the people that I love most right now (besides family)? My boyfriend, Arta and his kids
  5. Do I eat fast food? Yup
  6. Where do I usually go in weekend? Night Clubs and my sofa
  7. Am I..really me? Ehm.. duh.. yes :)
  8. If offered lots of money, would I be in Porn? NO
  9. Do I think "Bonanza" was a true depiction of life in the West? NO
  10. If not do you think that Zarina, the notorious drug girl (in Indonesia) would be a good subject of a new tv show? NO
  11. Am I part of en escort agency? HELL NO. Shawn loser.. stop emailing me
  12. What is the most important thing to me right now, such that I am willing to sacrifice my life for it ? My family
  13. What is my passion and ambition after modeling? Being a good wife and mother
  14. What is your favorite brand? Gucci bags, and Chanel make up

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Home for my Birthday

Hallo Jakarta!

My beloved parents asked me to come home for my 25th birthday and I didn't mind at all. I haven't been home for a while and I miss this town, but mostly I miss my family.

For those who don't know, it is Ramadan for us Muslim where we fast for the entire day and we only eat our meal before sunrise and break the fast at sundown. I came home Sunday nite when my parents told me the plan for the pre morning meal tomorrow. We had 200 box food with rice and chicken to be distributed around town before the morning meal. So I started my birthday day at 2am with family and friends with a big ugly truck going around Jakarta handing these food to homeless people who need them.

This is an experience I've never had before and I will always be grateful to my parents for suggesting it. There are those of us lucky enough to have simple things in life like a home. There are millions out there who do not. What I did today doesn't help them more than for one day. I wonder what we can do if everyone do more to help. I wonder?

I don't get to see my sister a lot so it was also enjoyable to do this with her. I ended up spending the whole day with her. Mostly we chat about her life and mine. In the afternoon, I drag her to the old gym I used to go to in Jakarta for a workout and met my old personal trainer. We worked out together for a couple hours (although I think we chit chat more than we worked out:).

The other cool thing that happened that day was when I came to my jakarta apartment where my sister lives after we worked out. For some weird reason, my sister told me I should go the bedroom. As I open the door, there were 24 red roses and 1 yellow rose scattered throughout the bed, each accompanied with a small birthday card. In the middle of it was a small gift.

I was highly surprised mostly because I didn't expect my boyfriend to do something like this. Between screaming and crying, I wasn't sure what to do until he appeared from the bathroom (after hiding for half an hour:) to wish me happy birthday.

He told me the 25 roses represented my 25th birthday. One yellow rose with today's birthday card and the other 24 for the past 24 years he missed my birthdays. What a woman to do when given something like that...

I like surprises. Especially like this one. It is a nice way to spend my birthday.

The day end with a family dinner and gathering at my family spiritual mentor's house. He is a person that have always there for my family in time of needs and in time of happiness. We talked... All of us. About life, spirituality and destiny. I don't know where my life goes after this. I do know that today, on my birthday, I am thankful. I am blessed.


PS: For those who wished me Happy Birthday via comments and via email, Thank you!

Sunday, October 09, 2005

Ask me

Today, I feel like opening myself up. Wide open. Ask me anything. And I do mean anything. Ask me and the one question that move me the most will be the topic of my next posting. Hell if it moves me "that" much.. I may.. oh well.. ya know..

Now the "rule" of this game is that you MUST ask using comments below and not via email. Lets keep this one out of the private area shall we? Although you are more than welcome to ask me "private" stuff

I am waiting....


Saturday, October 08, 2005

I miss my friend Jasmina...

Jasmina is my best friend in Singapore. She is Croatian and we used to live together in this fast pace, and sometimes, very "cold" city. When I first moved here for my modeling career, it wasn't an easy decision. I didn't know that many people and she was one of the first persons I met. She realy knows how to make me laugh with her "funny way" of speaking English.

By the time I came here, Jasmina was already establishing herself in the modeling industry in Singapore. We all heard horror stories of models hating each other, even sabotage each other. Well, they don't know Jasmina. From day one, she was so supportive of me. She always believed in me, before anyone else. Everytime I ran into roadblock, she was always there.. with her jokes and her smile... That chick always smile. She had this trademark scream when we see each other, she always said, "juuhuu!!".

About a year ago, she decided to visit her home after a modeling gig in Hong Kong. Not too long after that, she sent me an email telling me that she had found the man of her dream. She told me she decided to stay home in Croatia and quit modeling to become a wife and a mother. She told me how much she loves her man and this was her "real" dream. I have since lost contact with her.

In life, there will always be those special people you meet in special time and you can never get them out of your heart and mind, regardless the space between you. She is one of those people for me. Jasmina, if you are reading this... I miss you girl!

She left before "i made it" in the modeling world. She sent me this email long before my first major magazine appearance. Now boys... imagine a 172 cm, Croatian beauty saying the following (with her thick accent):

"My dear, i wish you good luck!! And take them all jobs they have, cause you desirve it!! You are the best:)dont forget. When i come to you, im shore you gonnaalready geaveing autograms for jung boys! hahaha"



Friday, October 07, 2005

Fake Tiaras (Tiara Palsu).. Get a life!

I receive an email yesterday from Robert Simatupang ( a new friend:) and he told me there is a person pretending to be me on Friendster.com. Whoa!! It is one thing to try to convinced people that it is really me typing this post, but totally another thing to see my own pictures some loser took from the internet and claim that she is me!

First, Thank you Robert for alerting me.

Second, for those who want to claim they are me on the internet.. Get a life! Is your life so bad that you have to pretend you are someone else? Do you speak English? If not, here: Kok hidup kamu kasian banget sih sampai harus ngaku-ngaku jadi orang lain di internet??

Here's an open challenge to anyone who claim to be me. Show "my" out-takes on your profile.. I am posting two on this one. Maybe I should explain what out-takes is to these people. On photoshoot, photographer will takes hundred of pictures, the one they don't use is called out-takes. Only the photographer and I (sometimes the magazines) have these out-takes photo. I have mine. Can you show "my" out-takes?

Any idiot can cut and paste my pictures from the internet. Unless you have what I have, you are an imitators. I guess I should be flattered..but I am not! Especially, when this loser doesn't even take time to research. FYI to Ms. kasian-deh-loe... I was born on October 10th.. that is not Cancer you loser!

Boys, her email address is aka_tiaralestari@yahoo.com her url on friendster is http://www.friendster.com/user.php?uid=21592181. Please email her and say: Kamu tukang bohong. Kasian deh loe! (I am sure she doesn't speak english).


Thursday, October 06, 2005

Why am I cosmopolitan (not the magazine)...

Today's posting is in honor of men who have been my voice in the internet when I was not around to respond (Robin, Marco and Dr. Lee). It is my way of thanking them for being so vocal on my behalf. Boys.. this one for you:

Why am I cosmopolitan? It behooves me to answer without first quoting a dictionary of what the word "Cosmopolitan" means. The word simply means: A sophisticated person who has traveled in many countries. Well... first let me take that as I compliment.

If that is the meaning of the word, then it is very easy. I have traveled around the world. A lot. I have met people from across the globe with different backgrounds, cultures, beliefs and attitudes. I am like that boy character in the movie "meet the fockers" (you guys should see..it is funny as hell). I am like a sponge. I absorb. I adjust. In the end of that process is.. ehm.. me. Like this. The one you see and the one you read.

I have been lucky enough to have met so many people and developed relationships with them that further enhances my multi cultural attitudes. They are my true teachers (you know who you are:). I am Indonesian and proud of it. But there many Indonesian like me, who have been exposed to the world out there resulting in a combined thinking of eastern and western cultures. I am just one of them. If that is considered cosmopolitan, I'll take it.

I will forever cherish relationships with men like David and Dino, women like Loulou, Jasmina and Lexter. They have taught me so much that I could never repay them. As an Indonesian, I can't help but realize that there many who are like me out there. Some quietly supporting me, some are very vocal. I thank them too. I hope I will continue to grow. One person at a time. One friend at a time.

There you go my dear doctor Lee. My answer.


PS: I hope you like my picture overlooking the Central Park in New York. I thought it suits the story :)

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Which me would you want?

I am having an argument with my manager about which pictures from magazines I should be sending my modeling agency. I am settling this debate the democratic way. Would you guys please tell me which one you like the best? Please ....

Just leave a comment or as always, email me. Ok?


Monday, October 03, 2005

Can you offer me swimming lesson?

My agency sent me an email a couple of days ago. He was excited to let me know that there was a client wanted to do a two day photoshoot in India for some magazine. Paid pretty good.. I was just excited to hear the word India. I always wanted to go there but never had a chance. One thing, this is an underwater shoot so he asked me If I was a good swimmer. It is after all a requirement to be able to do an underwater photo shoot.

I can't swim!! As much as I'd love to take this job, I cannot. Aaaargh! I told him I could take a fast track swimming lesson.. but I don't think I can make it in time. Drowning is not an option for any model. Trust me :)

Anyone out there can teach me how to swim?


Sunday, October 02, 2005

Wedding party

First, let me apologize for my posting yesterday. I was really mad yesterday and I guess it shows . I hope I didn't offend anyone (except the terrorists).

As I have mentioned before, weekend for me is a time for being lazy. My laziness today resulted in my forgetting an invitation to a wedding until it was an hour too late! I rushed there so fast and guess what.. the wedding party was over. The worst part was as I walked up the stairs, there she was.. my friend who just gotten married coming out with her new husband and their family in their casual clothes... ooops!

Sorry girl.. congrats and I love you (blushed:)


Saturday, October 01, 2005

Bali bombers: F*CK YOU!!

Is there one good reason to kill another human being?? Is there one good reason to kill a bunch of inocent human beings who are just having a nice dinner in a nice place???! Why do people do this horrible acts?

I am mad. I am upset. Screw that... I am pissed off!!! I saw on the news about the Bali bombs a few minutes ago and I have been trying to call my friends who live there..and I can't get through! If you are one of them..please....please call me and let me know you are okay.

Message to the bombers: You are a bunch of cowards who probably can't get you penis up! You are a sad bunch of people with no heart. Honestly, none of you deserve to live. Your day will come. With the grace of the all powerful GOD.. your day of judgment will come!


PS: To the family of victims, my prayers goes out to you. My thoughts are with you and your family. You are now my brethren..